When Allison was in elementary school, she was in a string orchestra called the Singing Strings. Shortly after she joined the orchestra, the conductor - John Clement, who became a mentor to Allison (and many others) - passed out music to the group. It was Handel's "The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba".
As the group began playing, Allison leaned over to her seatmate and said, "This is the music that I want to walk down the aisle to."
That's how long Allison has been planning this wedding.
It showed.
There's a wedding album to the left - click on it to see some selected moments from the day. In the meantime, I'll give you a few snapshots here in the form of some moments that stood out for me.
The wedding was held on a Saturday. The girls in the bridal party - including my wife - were all meeting early in the morning for breakfast and then going to get their hair done, fingernails cut, toenails painted, cycles synchronized. Girlie stuff. Did not involve me.
So I gathered together a couple of friends who were in for the wedding, and we went golfing.
I expected to come home to a madhouse, but I guess one of the benefits of meticulous preparation - if Allison weren't a talented and passionate teacher, she'd make a kick-ass event planner - is that things were calm and ordered and running to time. By now the girls were all back at our house, clustered up in the master bedroom (which has an attached dressing room), and ... again, girlie stuff. Makeup. Boy talk. Watching "The Notebook". I have no idea.
My wife was having none of this "calm" bullshit. This was a by God wedding, and it wouldn't be a wedding without a crisis, and if there wasn't one readily available, she was prepared to manufacture one. So she rushed down and informed me that we had to take some wedding cakes to the reception hall.
(Side note on Allison's brilliance: instead of the traditional wedding cake, she had decided to ask a few friends and loved ones to bake and decorate a small cake. Each of these beautiful and delicious cakes were to be put on pedestals and would each serve as the centrepiece for a given table. And, of course, dessert. How smart is that?)
Well, one of the cakes didn't have a pedestal. Oh, boy. The day was ruined. It was all collapsing in a heap of ashes and Allison would wind up weeping and sobbing with her life in shards around her. Or, you know, we could use my cell phone, call my wife's best friend, and she could cheerfully offer to go pick up a pedestal and make sure she got to the hall early so that the offending cake could be raised and the day rescued.
Disaster averted. A narrow miss, to be sure. But all was good.
We got back to the house, I grabbed one of the few minutes when the shower wasn't in use (with six house guests and a bridal party all straining the resources, timing was everything), then got dressed and ...
... nothing. It was only 2:30. The wedding wasn't till 4. What was my hurry? I poured myself a drink and relaxed. I do "relax" pretty well.
At around 3:15 or so, the house was filling up. Everybody had cleaned up nicely. I was called to the foot of the stairs to watch Allison descend.
The look of her literally - not figuratively but literally - took my breath away. I think you can see that in the photos.
Conversation En Route To The Church
Allie: I think I have to go poo.
Me: Should we stop at Tim Horton's? (Canadian coffee shop chain - think Dunkin' Donuts).
Allie: Yeah, that would be great. Go into Tim Horton's dressed like this and say "Can I use your bathroom? I have to poo."
Erin: Well, I believe if you go into Tim's in a wedding dress, you're required to say "Can I use your bathroom? I have to take a dump."
What followed was a discussion that began with the logistical challenges of pooing in a wedding dress, and moved on to pee, puke, and boogers. We are such a classy family.
Deadly Cute
Allison and I got into the church and people were already in place. The bridesmaids were milling about, assorted children were being kids, and the string orchestra - under the direction of John Clement - was playing excerpts from "The Sound of Music".
The minister came back and made sure everyone was ready. Allison - who actually had ducked into the church washroom (for a pee, and she was unwilling to divulge the logistics involved, for which I am grateful, except to say "It's trickier than you might think.") - gave him the go-ahead.
The music changed. Time to go.
Here is a video of the procession. Be prepared to be slain by cuteness.
There is only one way to fight that.
Take that, Cute Kid.
Daddy, Stop Teasing
When she was a little girl, and I was a stay-at-home Dad/writer/performer, I would often take Allie with me when I went out to schools to do storytelling workshops. Part of the workshop was always about letting your imagination run free - and she and I had a song we'd perform that sort of illustrated that.
It was a song written by Eric Nagler, a well-known Canadian children's performer, called "Daddy, Stop Teasing". The lyrics (as I adapted them for us):
Me:
Allison, guess what I just saw outside?
An elephatamus with a black naugahyde.
He was eating the Chevy, and what could I do?
And he said when he's finished, he's coming for you.
Allie (chorus):
Daddy, stop teasing, it's not very pleasing,
It's awfully confusing when you don't know what's true.
I know that you love me and that's why you do it,
But Daddy stop teasing, whatever you do.
Me:
How would it be if you drove my car?
We'll go to Fort Garry, it's not very far.
These phone books will help you look over the dash,
And we'll fool all the cops if you wear my moustache.
Chorus
Well, guess what we're having for supper today?
Some eggplants and onions all mixed up with hay.
Petrified Tasmanian turtletoes are nice,
With snakes' heads, worms' tonsils, and sugar and spice.
Chorus
Coda:
Me: Well, if I can't tease you, how can I show you that I love you?
Allie: Buy me an ice-cream cone, I guess.
The song is in 3/4 time, perfect as an old-time waltz. But who would ever waltz to that, unless you were, I don't know, trying to make your father cry at your wedding? Of course, the actual music is hard to find. Why, you'd have to email Eric Nagler months and months ahead of the wedding and get him to send you the song. What kind of dork would go to that trouble, just to make her Dad cry?
Yeah. Well played.
Turnabout Is Fair play
At the end of my speech at the reception, I directed everybody's attention to the screen set up in front.
For a week or more before the wedding I had worked hard to assemble a slide show, depicting both kids' pasts and bringing us to today. I also wanted to remind us that there were some people missing from the pictures today - but not from our hearts.
I matched the pictures up to music and tried to craft it as a small movie. It's Other Peoples' Children, so you're forgiven if you're not interested in seeing it. but I think it's pretty nice.
Some notes: I love the joke early on in this: "How did he get to be so tall?" Umm. He ain't.
There's a picture of Allie with a guy in a beard. That's Fred Penner - a friend of mine and one of Canada's best known children's performers. Sorta like having a picture of your kid with Mr. Rogers. Only cooler.
Please excuse my appearance in some of these photos. It was the 80s. How did YOU look? OK, then.
What a wonderful post. I loved the video! How can I get teary over people I don't know?!? You're obviously a marvelous father, and they seem very lucky to have found one another. Congrats!
Posted by: Charlotte | October 07, 2008 at 05:22 PM
Read the post, looked at the pictures, viewed the videos. I would love to comment just now, but the cuteness -- it hath slain me.
Posted by: CircusKelli | October 07, 2008 at 05:31 PM
What, you're calling that a post?! Oh HELL no it ain't... that there's just a blatant manipulation of people's tear ducts is what it is.
Seems like this year's turning out okay afterall for your family, if such a wonderful event can take place. Congrats to all, again. Love is truly a beautiful thing.
Posted by: shari | October 07, 2008 at 06:03 PM
I am overwhelmed with cuteness and all that love.
Posted by: Deneen | October 07, 2008 at 06:35 PM
I love how you managed to sneak a potty-training picture in there. Well played on YOUR part.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | October 07, 2008 at 10:02 PM
Seriously, dude, I pride myself on being the bitter curmudgeonly one who laughs at others in teary moments but you totally got me. Very nice. And is that OWEN?!? WALKING!?!
Oh jeeeeez...
Posted by: von Krankipantzen | October 07, 2008 at 10:55 PM
I'm at work, so haven't checked the photos or the videos, that will be later. But the text was beautiful. Thanks for wonderful recounting. I'm sure those who weren't there in the physical were still there in your love.
Posted by: squirl | October 08, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Allie is stunning. Very beautiful. I was able to see the pictures, but videos are blocked at work, so I will have to check those out at home.
Very nice post to go along with the pictures as well. Congratulation, Allie!
Posted by: Katie | October 08, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Damn your eyes for making me get a lump in my throat! Both for the sweetness in these photographs...but also for the memories of times gone by in my own life with my own little family. Dammit!
Posted by: apathy lounge | October 08, 2008 at 01:41 PM
Aww, beautiful pics and post as usual! Congrats to Allie and Trevor. :)
Posted by: Laura | October 08, 2008 at 02:48 PM
Sonnny, True Love is the greatest thing in the world.....except...
Posted by: William | October 08, 2008 at 02:59 PM
Charlotte: I dunno that you have to know people to get all misty about their happiness. Happens to me all the time.
CK: Yeah, I did post a warning on that. It still slays me.
Shari: Yeah, been a roller coaster of a year - some bad, some wonderful. This fits into the latter category. And I didn't think it was blatant. Subtle was what I was going for.
Deneen: Yeah, cuteness AND love? Overwhelming.
Bucky: Never underestimate my capacity for revenge.
Kranki: That is indeed Owen. He'll be one year old this week. He motors along, don't he?
Squirl: Yeah, there were folks missing. But we felt the love, for sure.
Katie: I think it's a good thing they're blocked at work. People would crowd around to see why you kept going "Awwwww!"", then everybody gets fired, and we don't want that.
WG: A lump in the throat is a good thing. It's nice to remember them when they were sweet, innocent, and not raiding your wallet ...
Laura: Thanks, darlin' ... You were one of those here in spirit :)
William: ... except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky. I love that.
Posted by: Nils | October 08, 2008 at 03:28 PM
I have met the delightful Allison (she's the close friend of my adopted daughter who is now teaching in England and was unable to attend the wedding) in real life numerous times. The pictures are gorgeous, but she looks that beautiful in real life, too.
You done good, Dad. Congrats.
Posted by: Lori | October 08, 2008 at 06:27 PM
Lori: I take no credit for her looks. But I done good in other ways. She's a lovely, kind, thoughtful, smart, funny human being. I was smart enough to get out of the way and let all that goodness reach full flower.
Posted by: Nils | October 08, 2008 at 06:35 PM
I'm so glad you told me that this was up. Yes, I know it comes to something when you have to phone your friend in England to say, "Read my blog, dammit!" but it was worth it. Allie looks beautiful and I can't believe how cute (and big!) Owen is looking these days. I can imagine you were an emotional wreck by the end of it.
Loads of love from both Stumpy and I to all of you. Oh, and I will visit again before the weekend, I promise. :0)
xx
Posted by: Platypus | October 08, 2008 at 08:02 PM
Thank you SO much for sharing all of that with us! I loved the video that you put together- so thoughtful...you know how I feel about you but Allison is one lucky girl to have a daddy like you.
And now I'm gonna need a tissue...and it's not fromthe stupid onions I'm cutting up either.
Posted by: The Kept Woman | October 09, 2008 at 06:19 PM
Nils, I would never, ever presume to say that Allison got those looks from you! On a serious note though, you said it so well: so much of parenting successfully is getting out of the way and letting them bloom on their own. You've obviously done that. Allison is sweet, charming and delightful. Takes after her mother, you say?
Posted by: Lori | October 09, 2008 at 07:15 PM
TKW: How nice of you to say so. I feel much luckier than either of my girls.
Lori: The looks, they got from Mom. The charming and delightful? All me.
Posted by: Nils | October 09, 2008 at 08:21 PM
Platypus: I haven't posted in so long that I'm amazed people even found this - that I didn't have to phone EVERYBODY. It was so wrong of me to fall out of touch like that, to not post for so long ... DON'T YOU THINK?
Posted by: Nils | October 09, 2008 at 08:23 PM
You are awesome.
Posted by: torrie | October 09, 2008 at 09:05 PM
Wonderful in many ways. Thanks for letting us in on it.
Posted by: MrsDoF | October 10, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Couldn't watch the pics before, as I was at work....
I cried and I barely know her. I can only imagine what happened at the reception. Wonderful, simply wonderful.
And you know Fred Penner?! Why were you holding out on us? Isn't that worth a whole post? That's like knowing God. We play six degrees of separation in our house a lot. I'm one degree away from George W and crew and this is (needless to say) much better!!
Posted by: Lori | October 10, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Oh how I loved your daughters picture with the pooch--
the videos were lovely as well
dag/tu
Posted by: twisteduterus | October 11, 2008 at 09:17 AM
Holy crap. I have never been to a lovelier wedding. I laughed, I cried. Thanks for this. It was a most delightful few minutes of my evening. All blessings to the happy couple.
Posted by: Susie | October 11, 2008 at 07:47 PM
AH HA!
I KNEW that was Fred Penner! HOW COOL IS THAT! He is one of my kids' favourites. And you KNOW HIM!?!? Wow...but do you know Alan Thicke?? Or Bruce Willis?? Eh?? LOL My cousin babysat Robin and Brennan while Alan was doing "Thicke of the Night" way back when. Then he went on to be in some of the Die Hards and Screams and co-star with Tom Hanks in "The Burbs" and all kinds of silly stuff. He actually introduced Bruce and Demi. So how cool am I now?? LOL
Sorry, I am just so in awe of the fact that you know Fred. LOL Ok, moving on...
I have not checked in months since you have been grieving and so sad, I thought you would be gone for a long time. I totally spaced Allie's wedding! So glad I came back. How awesome was this to come back to!
Owen has grown so much!! I guess that is what happens. My fave pic was the one of Allie asleep on her back, sucking her thumb with her one leg thrown across the other one...SO CUTE!
Congrats! Looks like a lovely day. My daughter just turned eight and seeing you and Allie walk down the aisle...I cried thinking of my husband and daughter doing that 15-35 years from now.
Posted by: Lowa | October 14, 2008 at 02:41 AM
If you're going to make snarky comments you really should e-mail them to me. You know, in case it's over a week before I get back to your blog. I will post but right now I don't have anything to say. And I'm busy, you know, with ... stuff. ;0)
Posted by: Platypus | October 14, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Torrie: aw, thanks, darlin'. I'm not - in any way - but it's always nice to hear.
Mrs. Dof: You're most welcome. Hey ... had to invite my friends, didn't I?
Lori: Yep, Fred Penner. Story to follow.
Dagny: Thanks ... Allison was determined to have her picture taken with all her pets. Roxy didn't understand what was going on, and just wished everybody would get the hell out of her house.
Susie: I love that this all brightened your day. It was a bright day for us, too.
Lowa: That's one of my favourite pictures of Allie. I also love the one of her knee deep in the water, wearing just her underpants. I look at her face in that pic and see all the joy in the world.
Platy: I am sorry you were surprised that I made a snarky comment. Given your shock, here are some other things that may surprise you: Christmas is on Dec. 25th. It will get colder this winter, followed by a warmer spring and an even warmer summer. The sun will rise in the east. Hmm. This could become a long list ...
Posted by: Nils | October 15, 2008 at 12:36 PM
To steal one of your phrases: bite me arse... ;0)
Posted by: Platypus | October 16, 2008 at 07:47 PM
I remember when I heard that Eric Nagler song when I was a kid and I loved it so much. As I got older I only remembered the chorus and when my son turned 7, I would have to make up the verses to song and add my own funny lines to make him laugh or say eewwwww.
I decided to search for that song because I haven't heard it in over 20 years and to my surprise you posted to words to that song on this site. Also, to read that you and your daughter sang this on her wedding day was very sweet. It made this big burly black guy smile and shed a tear. LOL. I'm still in search for that song. Wish me luck.
Cheers to you man and I really hope all the best to you, your family and your daughter.
...and try not to tease her so much. ;)
Posted by: Allister Thomas | January 12, 2012 at 10:38 AM