Truths and Half Truths

Happy Nils's Birthday

Today is my birthday.  I am approximately 10 Celsius.  I know you had planned to give me an exorbitant gift, but thank you, I don't need more stuff. 

What I want you to do instead is buy yourself a small gift, something just for you, something that makes you feel good or will in some way make your life better, even if only fleetingly.  Then come back and tell me what you bought.

Also, if you're a lurker here, today would be a nice day to say "Hi".

Li'l Bit of Cool For All You Flautists

This, courtesy of my daughter Erin, the music teachah ...

Very cool ...

Marion ... er, NILS the Librarian

Got a call this morning to fill in for the Librarian at a local Junior High.  It's vewwy, vewwy quiet.

As it's a middle school, the Internet access is - quite rightly - somewhat restricted.  No access to web email (which is the only kind of e-mail I use), and even some of my favourite websites are blocked because of their obvious pornographic content (looking, eyebrows raised, at Kalki).

Since my supervisory role is limited to providing technical assistance to whichever teacher is using the computer lab in the liberry (my rudimentary geek skills generally outstrip many of my colleagues'), I'll use part of the day to get ahead on some stuff.

But no email till I get home.  (twitch)

... Then We Will Know the Terrorists Will Have Won.

One of my very favourite bloggers, Amanda B., has packed it in. 

Her blog had become more and more popular over the past year or two, and with that came the inevitable trolls and assholes who write hateful, vicious, hurtful comments and e-mails.  Finally, a line was crossed and she decided that the personal attacks and vitriol weren't balanced off by the pleasure that she got from writing to a large and mostly very supportive readership, and she signed off for good.

It pisses me off.  I hate when the bad guys win.

I know I'm lucky - kinda.  Not many people read this blog, and far fewer de-lurk to comment on it, and rarely is anyone anything other than sweet, funny, and smart.   This isn't a "popular" blog, outside the few friends who drop by.

There are a lot of blogs out there, many of them very popular, but if you ask me, not all the high-traffic blogs deserve their popularity.  I read blogs where the writer says something like, "Today I burped.  It felt really awesome.  Do you like to burp?" and they get 130 comments about belching, all of them telling the blogger that his or her belches sound like a symphony and probably smell like roses and that this was the funniest burping story they've ever read, ever, and they declare they spit coke all over the screen when they read the thing about the burping. 

If the proportions on my blog stats hold for the internet, that means thousands of people stop by that blog every day to see the latest banal, borrowed wisdom belched out by an indifferent writer in ungrammatical prose punctuated poorly and rife with grotesque misspellings and bizarre malapropisms.  Thousands.  Every day. 

I used to get bitter about that, want to throw up my hands and say "How does this idiot get hundreds or thousands of visitors every day when some of the brilliant - truly brilliant - blogs to be found on the left hand column of this page seem to be read by me and the same people who drop by my place, and that's about it?"  A quality readership,to be sure, but not the huge numbers, and it doesn't make a lick of sense to me.

But some A-list blogs - say, Amanda's or Dooce - really do deserve high traffic.  But with high traffic comes the trolls and assholes.  So it's a mixed blessing.

I've seen it before - we all have: commenters who have nothing in mind but sneering and denigrating their betters have hurt our friends and fellow bloggers.  And so very many times the reaction from the blogger who is injured can be paraphrased: "Someone I know said something really cruel to me." or "Someone is sending me repeatedly, deliberately cruel criticisms" ... and it's followed by " ... so I really think I'll stop now."  They never reveal the who or the what, just vague talk about hurt and viciousness by unknown assailants.

It infuriates me, absolutely makes me livid.  Because i hate when the assholes and haters prevail not because we don't have the wherewithal to fight them but because - in the name of class or good breeding or not sinking to their level - we simply surrender.

I don't mean this to sound like a criticism of Amanda's choice to stop blogging.  She takes that decision for her own reasons, and I know her to be a strong, sensitive, smart and funny human being and all I want is for my friends to be happy and if this makes her happy, so be it.

  And I get that she doesn't want to leap into a pissing match with a skunk, doesn't want to have her life or her blog devolve into a place where the negative feelings outweigh the positive.  I get that she had a place that she loved, and that some vandals came in and made a mess and walked off and now it doesn't feel right for her any more.

But I don't get why those of us who also loved the place have it yanked away from us and have nowhere to release our anger and disgust.

When Dooce had a particularly cruel, particularly vicious email, she did something I really admired.  She put the offending e-mail up on her blog, complete with the moron's address, did a bit of research to find out who the person was behind it - and the adoring internets banded together to carve one poor idiot named Matt Jackson a whole new asshole - or a whole new Matt, same thing.

Now that?  THAT is satisfying. 

We've all seen them:  people who can't create, so they fill the gaping maw in their soul by trying to tear down what others create.  They can't approach the goodness and kindness of other people, so the compensate by ripping at the flesh of their betters.  They can't add anything to life, so they focus on sucking life away from others.

They're terrorists of a different kind - intellectual, emotional, spiritual terrorists.  And it makes me sad to see they won another round, when so many of us would have stood behind Amanda and - using every ounce of our creativity and ingenuity - made life exceedingly miserable for someone who launched an undeserved, unprovoked attack on our friend.  And that's not being negative or poisonous - protecting our friends and family makes us better people, in my book.

I'll miss Amanda's blog for its expression of her wit and charm, her unique observations, her courage and her warm, human spirit.  Something good is gone, and all we can do is look around and wonder who the nameless and faceless terrorists will pick next.

Emerging ...

Forgive me, Internets, for I have sinned.  It has been eight days since my last entry.  (Why do I have a sudden urge to do a Beavis and Butthead giggle?)

Anybody who has blogged for any length of time runs into these periods, when you look at the button that will take you to "new entry" and go, "Ehhh." 

I've been teaching quite a bit the past week or so - mostly English and Computers.  I'm pretty comfortable at any level with both subjects, although I'm not so sure the PTA wants ME to be the one to introduce their kids to the internets.  I mean, I know how to use it as a research tool - in fact, I'm quite handy at it.  But for the most part, the internet is a social tool for me (Beavis and Butthead chuckle). 

When I started working out of an office in my home, I realized I was going to go nuts if I couldn't find some way to have interaction with other people.  I'm the guy in every office who comes around, sits on the corner of your desk, moves your papers around, and asks you about how your weekend went, whatcha did last night, whatcha doing now, oh, sorry, I think I'm sitting on that, here you go, so, who ya calling?  Totally irritating if you want to get stuff done.  If you have some time, though, we'll have a nice chat.

When I ended up at home, there was nobody to do that with.  So I discovered chat rooms (not those grotty AOL chat rooms where women of questionable morals would run up enormous internet bills and spend all their time flirting with random horny net geeks till 5 AM)  (I am sooo smirking right now).  Instead, I went on IRC and, after a few tentative steps (I was innocent, and frightened of the kind of people I'd heard were online) I was able to meet a few folks who seemed nice.  I also met a whole lot of bozos, but that's life, ain't it?

I don't go on IRC anymore.  I come here - well, usually, to the blogs I read.  If I want to sit on the corner of somebody's desk, I do it by commenting on blogs, or dashing off e-mails, or sometimes even chatting with friends through gmail. 

So, basically ... you're it.  You're my circle of friends.  Oh, I have a very few friends I can call up and go out with (although I never do).  Occasionally I'll have people drop over for dinner or a visit.  But Monday to Friday, from sunrise to sunset ... you're it.

And really.  Look at you, as a group.  Do we really want me teaching our kids how to go out and meet people like US?

Don't Stand So Close To Me

So, today I'm teaching Science and Agri-Science at a local high school.  The lesson plan calls for us to watch, then discuss Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth".  After reading Michael Crichton's "State of Fear" - possibly the most extensively researched and footnoted novel you'll ever find - I'm keen to ask a few questions about "truths" that we all accept, things that "they" have proven to the point where we really shouldn't have to even think about it any more, just accept what "they" tell us.

I'm not saying Global Warming is an invention by fear-mongers.  I am  saying nobody was ever hurt by having someone say "Excuse me, but if the net effect of the Kyoto Agreement - if fully implemented by all nations - is to reduce global warming by between 4/100ths (commonly accepted) and 15/100ths (optimistic) of ONE degree by the year 2100* ... then is the sky really falling?"

If nothing else, it should be a fun discussion - especially the part where they say "Huh?  4/100ths of one degree in one hundred years?  That can't be right ...".

And maybe it's not.  Maybe there's new science.**  Just saying "Ask questions."  There are people who make a lot of money and retain a lot of power by keeping us all just a little bit scared.  "They" tell us it's all been proven, no need to ask any more questions, run along and don't trouble your little head with independent research, just do what "they" say, including "Vote for Us".

As I get older, I learn that everybody has an angle.  And the people who tell you what's good for you - and the planet - aren't exceptions. 

*  Nature, October 2003, 395 - 741

** Update:  In fact, a review of some credible websites has called into serious question Crichton's research.  Seems he's as guilty of manipulating science for his own purposes as anybody.

That doesn't, however, negate my main contention - which is that science - even broadly, universally accepted science - is not worthy of the name unless it can not only stand up to but in fact actively encourages questions and challenges. 

Global warming is almost certainly a serious concern.  How serious the threat it poses is certainly more a matter of educated guesswork, informed prediction, and outright speculation than a matter of "fact" - which is how it is treated.

All that said ... let's recycle, kids.

I Shoulda Stood In Bed

"Wake up."

"Huh?  Whassat?"

"There's no hot water.  The pipes are frozen."

Gather up the blowtorch, out in sub-zero temps with howling wind, down into the unheated crawl space, good frigging morning to you, too.

Got the water flowing.

"OK, that's solved.  Why are you holding your face?"

"Toothache.  Bad toothache."

"Take the car, I'll call your dentist to squeeze you in."

And off she goes.

Go in to check my e-mail (etc.  like I ever just check my e-mail).  Nothing.  Nada.   Pages aren't loading.

"Hello, Useless Internet Company, please push a series of numbers that are really just to give you something to do until the one service employee we have finally gets around to you, hopefully in this calendar year, and proceeds to talk to you like you're an utter idiot even though you probably know more about this shit than he ever will.  Hold please."  Crappy Musak - like the Percy Faith Orchestra in a Tribute to Black Sabbath.

Five minutes pass.  Ten.  Finally ...

"OK, I want you to unplug your modem.  OK, now plug it in again.  Ah.  You have a fault in your line.  It's been on the edge of breaking down for the past month.  We can have someone come see you and fix it, oh, tomorrow afternoon.  In the meantime, you'll have off-and-on connectivity."

Great.

Allison:  "The water's warm, but the pressure sucks."  (Note to self - call about the power-assist pump, which boosts the water pressure and is frozen solid like everything else in my world.)

Phone rings.  "Yeah, turns out it's an impacted wisdom tooth, so I need surgery."

Yeah, this day is just getting better and better.

How's your day going?