I Shoulda Stood In Bed

"Wake up."

"Huh?  Whassat?"

"There's no hot water.  The pipes are frozen."

Gather up the blowtorch, out in sub-zero temps with howling wind, down into the unheated crawl space, good frigging morning to you, too.

Got the water flowing.

"OK, that's solved.  Why are you holding your face?"

"Toothache.  Bad toothache."

"Take the car, I'll call your dentist to squeeze you in."

And off she goes.

Go in to check my e-mail (etc.  like I ever just check my e-mail).  Nothing.  Nada.   Pages aren't loading.

"Hello, Useless Internet Company, please push a series of numbers that are really just to give you something to do until the one service employee we have finally gets around to you, hopefully in this calendar year, and proceeds to talk to you like you're an utter idiot even though you probably know more about this shit than he ever will.  Hold please."  Crappy Musak - like the Percy Faith Orchestra in a Tribute to Black Sabbath.

Five minutes pass.  Ten.  Finally ...

"OK, I want you to unplug your modem.  OK, now plug it in again.  Ah.  You have a fault in your line.  It's been on the edge of breaking down for the past month.  We can have someone come see you and fix it, oh, tomorrow afternoon.  In the meantime, you'll have off-and-on connectivity."

Great.

Allison:  "The water's warm, but the pressure sucks."  (Note to self - call about the power-assist pump, which boosts the water pressure and is frozen solid like everything else in my world.)

Phone rings.  "Yeah, turns out it's an impacted wisdom tooth, so I need surgery."

Yeah, this day is just getting better and better.

How's your day going?

Comments

[platypus]

Oh what a crappy day you're having. Here's hoping it improves soon. I'm glad you're all back safe and sound anyway. :)

[Laura]

By this time tomorrow, it will all be over with... yes? ;)

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

I suspect none of this would've stung so much without the Percy Faith Orchestra thrown in.

[wordgirl]

So far...okay...but knowing the kind of karma I have, I expect something to explode, melt or catch fire any time now. None of that can compare to the pain of an impacted wisdom tooth, however.

[shari]

Percy Faith rendering Black Sabbath?? That's just wrong. Like just about everything else you've described here. Good luck with all of it, including the butt-load of shakes and soup I see in your immediate future.

[whfropera]

wait - you still have your thumb...um, nope, that's gone too.
ok, your day sucks.
;) hope you can take some good-natured teasing from the blogosphere.

[William]

Sounds pretty shitty.

[Allie]

I have a suggestion that will solve at least two of these problems, and potentially a third one that you failed to mention which is that your youngest offspring is constantly annoyed at you because the house is freezing and there is no hot water:

TURN THE FURNACE UP!

[candace]

How's my day going? Two words for you: early dismissal.

My kids are home TWO HOURS EARLY and it's snowing and it's too cold to go outside and I just wanted those two hours.

At least I'm not having oral surgery, though. Yikes.

[Gora_Kagaz]

aww...feel better :]

[Craig Willson]

I share your pain, Brother. I am off to the place of pointy things and loud buzzing things at 0 dark thirty tomorrow morning. The goal is to determine a plan to attack the dark, putrid, throbbing, foul smelling, mind numbing ugly pocket of pus that is living at the base of a tooth root.

...and just to trump your frozen pipes...we figured last night was a good time to see if 5 month old Trek was ready to send a night out of his crate. 0520 this morning I could hear him starting to move around, so I wobbled out, gently sniffing the air for the dreaded dog shit whiff. Nothing! Smiling to myself with pride, I walked (did I say it was still dark and I was in bare feet?) toward the stove, intending to drop a log in and squap! 3 dogs clustering around me with excitement that I am up so early and I am standing (remember, bare feet) in cold soft dog shit. I am also 25 feet from the washroom and in the middle of a fairly nice carpet. Lifting the soiled foot in the air so as to not make dog shit prints across the house I begin to hop on one foot (with great grace I might add) in the direction of the washroom. Squop! The little buggar had shat again and I missed seeing that too.

Did I mention I was also naked. At this point, standing flat footed in dog shit, the light clicks on. Herself looks at me, and with her usual CSI deductive powers, says, "guess he did not make it through the night."

The day went downhill from there.

[MrsDoF]

Son's car would not start. He's walking to class.

My first day of work in almost 3 years.
High school is not any easier as a TA than as a student.

Early Dismissal due to 5" snowstorm. Words cannot express my gratitude.

Frozen pipes and walking in doggy doo most definitely bigger problems than mine here.

I'll let you know when my turn comes.

[Squirl]

If I have any problems then they're nothing compared to some of the above, including yours.

You really do need to have heat in the house to keep your pipes from freezing, though. Listen to your daughter. :)

[Katherine]

Dang! Much better than yours, so sorry. Sending you warm, cheery thoughts!

[Nils Ling]

Craig wins. Hands down. I surrender. My day, compared to his? Nuthin' ... nuthin' at frigging all ...

[CircusKelli]

Wellll, lessee.... we all got up and got dressed and went to school and work (except for Hubby who was feeling out of sorts), and then later, Buddy's school called and said he had (yet another) slight fever and he had to be taken out of school. Thankfully, Hubby picked up Buddy (and Sweet Pea as long as he was there) so I didn't have to do that on my way home after a full day at work. I did however, have to stop at the store briefly before getting Punkin from school.

Buddy can't be in school today, but I'm at least able to go to work this morning (thanks to Aunt Shelley) and will have to take Buddy to the doctor this afternoon.

I'm stressing about a meeting I have to set up for and be in this morning (and stressing about having to take more time off of work even though it will only be a half day) and already have a list a mile long of things I'd like to get done after Buddy's doctor appointment this afternoon.

Sweet Pea is standing right next to me whining about how she wants Daddy (after telling me she hates me) and right now, I'm thinking I wish her Daddy were here, too.

Things could be much worse I know, but right now... I'm just a wee bit TENSE, and I really really really want to go back to bed.

[Laura]

I don't like to laugh at anyone's misfortune, but after reading Craig's description of his morning I had to put my coffee cup down as I bust out laughing. I'm shaking my head here, Craig. Only a true dog owner could relate!! Hope today goes a lot better for the two of you. And Nils, turn the furnance up! :)
Hope Joyce is feelling better, too.

[Craig Willson]

My day has gone much better, Circuskelli. Thanks you. The place of sharp objects and buzzy tools has decreed that massive amounts of drugs will suffice for the time being.

Trek, who must have realized I was a little irritated with his, er, deposits met me at the door last evening. As I came through the door, he 'bagged' me twice in his joy at seeing me. (Guys will understand). Sigh, I live in the middle of madness, but I would not have it any other way.

[Katie]

Well... I took vacation days on Friday and Monday, thinking I could get some stuff done that has been nagging at me. Friday the furnace went out. It was only 2 1/2 years old! New motor, and we were good for the icy cold weekend we had. So icy cold that on Monday, school was cancelled due to "extreme cold" - BS! So, not as much done as I would have liked. Then on Tuesday morning I got up for work to find my pipes were frozen. Kids still not in school due to "extreme cold" on Tuesday and we had the water department out to thaw the pipes. Tuesday afternoon, 'bout 4 inches of snow. Wed - school closed again (at least legit reasons this time) but I got to come to work because my other half was home for the kids. :)

But, one question... what would standing in your bed do to help? (Title of the post...) ;)

[Nils]

The title of the post comes from an old American idiom. This ungrammatical colloquial phrase-properly put as "stayed in bed"-is ascribed to fight manager Joe Jacobs, who in 1935 saw his first baseball game, the opening game of the World Series between the Detroit Tigers and Chicago Cubs. It was a very cold day, and when asked what he thought of baseball, Jacobs replied, "I should have stood in bed."

[Susie]

Um. I'm late, but Tuesday pretty much sucked. Wednesday, moreso. Today . . . looks like I'm on a roll here :)
But I'm not a bit worried about global warming this week. So that's something...