Why Raccoons Don't Wear Tight Pants

No opposable thumbs.

You need opposable thumbs to put on those pants that you can probably wear one more time this Christmas season, those great looking pants you can just squeeze into if you suck in hard and yank both sides together and do the button up really really fast.  Note:  opposable thumbs.  Plural.

One thumb?  Not enough.

Doc Ern has requested a photo of the carnage.  I'm supposed to change the dressing tonight.  I will try to take a photo then.  Given all the fuss I've made about it, I'm hoping it looks as bad as I remember.

A lot of you have either commented or emailed me to express concern or sympathy or empathy.  I do appreciate that you took the time.  I'll be fine ("It's just a flesh wound!"  "I've cut off your arm!"  "I've had worse!")  but ... nice to know you're out there for me, kids.

Comments

[platypus]

I'm glad you're OK but we were both quite worried about you! The not being able to do trousers up thing is frustrating - be thankful you don't wear a bra, which is worse!

I shall peek at the photo through my fingers (since my mental picture is pretty gory) but here's hoping that the restorative powers of turkey and cranberry sauce will make everything heal up as quickly as possible with not too much in the way of nerve damage.

Now, go and take those liquid painkillers again...

[Squirl]

Oh, I just read yesterday's post. Sorry, I just can't bring myself to make a smart-ass comment thinking about that. I hope you're healing up rapidly.

[Lyn]

I missed yesterday's post somehow! OW! OW! OW! Hope the booze was enough to get you through the night. And I hope, too, that you heal with little trouble. A friend lost part of her pinky, and she couldn't believe how long it remained sensitive. You may not be wearing tight pants for a while, love. Our loss. (I'm smiling and cringing at the same time!!)

Happy Healing! And Merry Christmas to your household!

[Effie]

I am morbidly curious to see your thumb...hopefully it will heal well (but probably not before the New Year, eh?!)

Have you ever heard of the site: showmeyourwounds.com?
It's kinda scary but they might enjoy seeing your thumb...

No more chopping wood, at least for now, OK??!!

[CircusKelli]

I think this is all an elaborate ruse to get out of having to do any of the holiday preparation type of activities. ;)

Ok, no... I'm kidding, of course (although, it makes a lovely excuse, should you need it!) I will look at the picture (if you post it) of your severed digit, but only because I'm also morbidly curious, and because I won't be able to NOT look.

As for the reason why racoons don't wear tight pants... I always thought it was because they liked looser fitting clothes. Just goes to show what I know...

[Sara Sue]

Ouchie! Hope you're feeling better soon! How does this affect your ability to prepare x-mas dinner??

[shari]

Uh, Nils? Racoons actually do have opposable digits. Now, rabbits, coyotes, badgers, moose? There ya go. No opposable digits at all. And I don't know how you expected to put on those trousers whilst holding your wood with both hands, anyway.

[platypus]

I'd love to see a moose in tight pants... Does that make me strange?

[Nils]

Shari: About the Common Raccoon
Procyon lotor (Linnaeus)

Raccoons are clever and resourceful. Although they do not have "opposable thumbs", raccoons are very handy. The can defeat jar lids, cabinet and camper doors, and get themselves into quite a bit of mischief. With that cute and furry, masked bandit look, raccoons can charm their way through many situations. Other times, their antics can be destructive ... etc. etc.

Emma: Yes, it makes you strange. But the good news is, it's only one of a host of things that make you strange.

Sara: As CK suggests, this is a clever ruse to escape kitchen duty. Christmas dinner will be cooked by my son-in-law. The chef. And all it took was lopping off a thumb. God knows what I'll have to sever to get an Easter ham.

Effie: pics pending. To quote my daughter: "Wow .. that's more gross than I thought it would be."

Lyn: the world can do without me in tight pants.

Squirl: I'll be fine in good time. Thanks for your concern. Go back to being a smartass.

[whfropera]

I don't whether to sigh, shake my head or be grossed out.

[shari]

Well, shut my mouth! But, I stand by the trousers comment.

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

I think you should wear a kilt, or a nice leotard, until you've healed up.

[Humblebub]

I think you should wear a kilt, or a nice leotard

Hey BF-E, I live just down the road from Himself - there are limits to what we allow in this neighbourhood. Naked pagans dancing in the field on the 21st is just fine, thank you - but Nils in a leotard crosses a line.

[generic cialis]

They are too adorable. I cant wait to see more. And the new fabric line I just love. I had my list of what I wanted to order and it looks like I will be adding more. I love the summer colorway. I was thinking of decorating my daughters room with it. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to seeing more!

[costa rica investments]

When I suffered my first depression was caused by many problems I had in my family. I never spoke to anyone of the problem until more and can not find professional help.

[Coach Outlet]

I won't accept such sort of family though it is quite comfortable. I prefer the family with mom which is not rich but ample in my heart