What Hurts The Most ...

... isn't the stitches or the freezing wearing off or the fact that I severed part of my thumb.  It's the damn embarrassment.

I am so damn stupid.

But really?  Axes should have warnings printed on them in big-ass block  letters:  "DO NOT HOLD WOOD WITH ONE HAND AND CHOP WITH THE OTHER.  YOU IDIOT."

Just sayin'.

Clarification:  Because there are people out there who asked:  I essentially severed my left thumb from mid-thumbnail up.  We're talking hanging by a thread.  So, yeah, ouch.  They gave me no prescription. 

Tonight, I have had a quantity of rye that a) kills the pain; and 2) would cause me to be very honest with you.  So ... be careful what you ask.

Comments

[shari]

Aww no, Nils... say it isn't so! Couldn't you just use a log-splitter like everyone else?? Hope it heals well and soon.

[CircusKelli]

Let's see... what did you tell me about the color of your blog? I believe the phrase was "Suck it up."

Seriously... if your po widdle fumb was that bad, would you be able to blog about it?

(Ok, no really, I don't for a moment think you are stupid, (boneheaded, sure... but not stupid) and I really hope your thumb heals quickly)

[Ortizzle]

Oh, Gawd. I don't know which sounds worse: what you *did* to your thumb or what you *could have done* to your thumb.

Please be careful and save at least one paw for eating your Christmas dinner. (I do sympathize, as I am the ultimate klutz: given an axe and a log to chop, I would be capable of producing a fingerless hand and a half-chopped log. In the best of circumstances.)

[cat]

Stupid-ass axe manufacturers. No Use With Common Sense warning label?! GOSH! What were they thinking?! Damn them to hell!
(sending healing boo-boo kisses your way: mwah! mwah!)

[Sandy]

You are soooooo right. Really, it's the least they could do.

[William]

Left thumb or right? Makes me cringe just thinking about hitting my thumb with an ax.

[shari]

I thought about returning to comment about the "DO NOT HOLD WOOD WITH ONE HAND" warning, but then remembered that it's not nice to tease people who are injured. So, be sure to hold your wood with both hands next time, and maybe no one will get hurt. At least, not you.

[wordgirl]

I hate it when I'm caught in the precise moment of stupdity that I would warn my own kids against. At least you can still type/write. Although I do wonder which hand this is on. Is it the one you write with?

[Gora_Kagaz]

ouch! aw, feel better.

[platypus]

Sheesh, Nils! I'm glad it wasn't worse - or there'd have been more than one 'Stumpy' in the Blogosphere! I hope you're not feeling too rough. Next time, make the kids do the hard labour.

[Nils]

Thank you all for your kind comments. Shari, I have now institured a "two hands on the wood" policy. There's a bit left over, but there is at least another margin of safety.

Wordgirl ... fortunately it was my left hand. Having been online for a long, long time, I am adept at typing with one hand.

Emma: My wife and children are already calling me "stumpy" ...

And CK ... I laugh anout it - mostly because if I didnt laugh I'd feel the pain. But yeah, my po lil partial fumb is kinda throbbing. But I blog about it because when you do something so spectacularly stupid, you really owe it to the world to share.

[kalki]

Oy. I have heebie-jeebies just reading this. Heal fast.

[Erin]

People, you really have to understand that this is the man who, when we were putting in fence posts this summer, said to me, in all seriousness, (me, his first-born daughter who teaches band and is a pianist and was a few weeks away from her wedding) "Honey, hold this post so I can hammer it down with the butt end of the axe ..." Luckily, I inherited Mom's common sense and said no.

Who swings an axe at his own hand?!? Come on! I know you don't need Superman reflexes to pull your hand away before the other one cuts it off, but you are taking a teeny chance, hmm?

[Nils]

In my defense, I have TWO daughters. So really, I could afford to take a chance with one. But she's right about the hand thing.

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

So...I guess the lesson is "Both hands on the wood or you'll end up stumpy."

[Nils]

... and I win ten bucks. Thank you, Bucky. You are nothing if not reliable.

[Ern]

Any pictures? No? That's what camera phones are for when you are sitting in the ER waiting room. *sigh* no carnage pictures today.

(Oh, and feel better.)

[William]

Hey I just realized something, you can become a wood Shop teacher now. Missing digits is a pre-requisite(SP?)

[Allie]

Sadly, I inherited Dad's common sense and probably WOULD have held the fence post if he had asked me to. After all, when told to climb into a very sharp and stabby hedge (wearing shorts and a t-shirt) to retrieve one of the aforementioned fence posts, I did it. I don't think I realized how powerful genetics really are.

[Effie]

Oh Nils. Are you left-handed? FYI--thumbs are meant to stay ON your hands...my friend Diederich used to sing a little song about his thumbs, I'll never know why, but it went like so:
"Me an' my opposable appendages,
They're my thumbs, go figure,
I was born with'em..."
and this chorus would go on, and on, and on....

Think of it this way, it's a good thing you weren't holding the wood with your foot....or something else!

[Robert Paterson]

Late to this Nils - Pity we arent starfishes - hope you heal soon.

I split wood every moring with a big splitting axe - got to be more careful
Happy Christmas Rob

[Lynn]

From one big-time clutz to another: OUCH!!!

I hope you heal fast and well.