< ===== No more button. Rant follows.
OK, this sucks. Like, really, really sucks.
The webcast isn't going to happen and refunds are on the way to all you people who were so kind to sign up. We appreciate it, we really do. We wanted to give you what you paid for, and we can't.
Blame Canada.
Here's what happened: three people from SoundQue, the production company based in Trenton, Michigan, set out for the border on Sunday afternoon, expecting to breeze through Customs as they have done before. They were direct and honest about their purpose for entering Canada, which was to provide an opportunity for Canadian artists to not only gain valuable exposure through a webcast, but also for those artists to possibly make a buck or two. In addition, they were coming over with skills and knowledge not available in Canada, and were prepared to share it and work with us to bring the capability back to our Island. So, they were honest. Dammit.
The Canada Border Service agent barred them from entering Canada, saying, "You can't just come across to Canada and work. You need a work permit. Never mind that you've never needed one before. Our rules say you need one."
Well.
The CBSA agent they spoke to, a guy named Steve, was just doing his job. And in fact, he went well above and beyond the call of duty, calling me and working with me to see if there was any way we could wedge this through any existing loopholes. In the end, no dice, and SoundQue went home.
We went and did the show - disheartened, but what are you gonna do? The show went well. Afterwards, we talked about the disappointment we all felt. This was going to be such a great opportunity for us, but also, we had hoped, for other artists.
On the way home, Cynthia suggested we call Wayne Easter. Wayne is our Member of Parliament, a guy we know well and who has always supported us. He's also a former Cabinet Minister in the Canadian Government. If we could get Wayne to take up the cause, that was a pretty damn big dog to take into the fight. For my American friends, that's like having a senior U.S. Senator on your side. BIG dog.
We called Wayne late on Sunday night and emailed his office. By early Monday morning he was calling me back (HE was, not his secretary or assistant or anyone else) and he reported on what he'd already done while my lazy ass was in bed. And it was a lot.
So, all day, phone calls went back and forth. And back and forth. At one point, both the Minister of Immigration AND the head of the Canadian Border Service was on this thing. That's some serious firepower, kids.
What killed it was a pop-gun. Some half-assed, never-had-a-real-job-in-his-or-her-life bureaucrat at the hilariously named Department of Human Resources and Social Development. Canada Border Service was fine to let the equipment into the country, but the people couldn't get in because HRSD required a work permit. Phone calls there ran into a brick wall.
(Allow me a mini-rant, to burn off some of this towering rage I have racing through my veins right now:
In any organization, EVERYBODY has the authority to say "No". Only a select few can say "Yes".
Think about that and how it works. You go into a business and say "Can I talk to the President?" The receptionist who was hired just last week and still hasn't quite figured out how to transfer calls is perfectly entitled to say "No". Now, she may be polite, she may ask your name and call someone else, but in the end, she can look at you and say "No". And if the President happens to be walking by, he can say "Oh, sure you can."
The trick is, get to the people who can say "Yes". And we did. And we got "Yes" from everybody ... except the one little person, no doubt a lower to mid-level lifer who was pissed that the phone call took him away from surfing blogs (oh, please let him land on this one today!) and, despite ample arguments that this was good for Canada, good for Canadian artists, good for our economy ... he looked in his manual, didn't see it was covered, said "No", and went back to wor-- ooops, coffee break, see you in 45 minutes!
To that little pissant, may I just say, on behalf of the internet, on behalf of Canadian artist, on behalf of all the people who might have benefitted had you taken one of your eight billion accumulated sick days today and the question fallen to someone with just a tiny grain of common sense: "Bite me arse."
"Well, if we make this exception, everybody will blahblahblah," bullshit, and you know it. That's the standard lame rationalization of the very laziest among us. And frankly, you could stand to do some thinking in between your rubber stamping. Deadweight waste of skin. / end mini-rant)
The upshot: the Government of Canada protected Canadian artists from the prospect of being helped by an American company. We're far safer from experiencing the tragic effects of success because some diddly office boy in some cubicle in the bowels of a building in Ottawa didn't want to take five minutes out of his day to actually think.
I feel badly for operagal and her colleagues at SoundQue, who are a terrific company and came into this in good faith and end up bearing the brunt of this little bit of assholery on the part of (see above). They'll refund your money, but I want to be clear that they are a straight-shooting, forward-looking company and I really can't wait to work with them again.
We all thank Wayne Easter and his crew, who were all over this but got defeated more by time than anything else. And really, I thank the Canadian Border Service who tried hard to make it work but, like us, got tripped up by some pissant bureaucrat.
And mostly, to you guys who bought tickets and put up buttons (take 'em down) and told your friends and gave me all that support and love ... thank you.
This part is over. But ... lots more to come.
Oh, and you - yes you, pissant HRSD bureaucrat: Please, I beg you, come visit my Island one day. I'll do what I can to protect Canada from YOU.
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