Bittersweet Defined

Last night we stopped by the Humane Society to pick up Juliet and Caesar.  They'd spent the day there because while people had expressed interest in adopting them, nobody had actually signed papers.  So, they weren't adopted, officially ... and a day on the adoption floor would go a long way towards taking care of that.

And it did - at least, for Caesar.  When we arrived to bring them back to be with their siblings and mom, we were told Caesar would be going home with a lovely lady named Linda who works at the Atlantic Veterinary College and who very recently lost her 15 year old dog to a stroke.  She couldn't imagine a life without a dog - that's how much she loves dogs - and what better kind of home would you want for your babies?

Your babies.  Dammit. 

There's a new one - at least, for me.  I've always seen pets as ... well, pets.  I mean, I can understand people developing a bond with them, a close friendship.  But I've always kind of rolled my eyes at people who think of themselves as their pet's "Mommy" or "Daddy". 

I've bridled at that in the past: "I'm not the dog's Daddy," I would say.  "Her Daddy is either a Lab or a German Shepherd or a Husky or - judging from the intelligence she exhibits - a toaster oven.  Stop saying "Daddy will take you out."

That's how I was brought up.  Pets were considered important to the family - but not part of the family.  I guess with six kids, my mom didn't want one more critter thinking of her as "Mommy".  And frankly, none of us wanted to vie for attention with another sibling.  Pets were pets, people were people, and never the twain shall meet.

And so it has been, until now.  We got these eight lil things when they were two days old - eyes not open, unable to walk or eat or do anything but suckle at their mom and sleep.  Each of them easily fit into my hand.  And they set up camp in my office.

And started to grow.  They grew larger.  They grew more agile and curious.  And they grew on me.

They also grew personalities.  Puck was mischievous (three syllables, thank you Bucky) from the start; Ophelia is "the little bitch" (technically and figuratively accurate); Caesar is boisterous and filled with adventure, Antony would just as soon sit apart and study the goings-on from a safe distance.  Romeo is the first to withdraw from the tussles and just curl up in your lap, where he immediately flops onto his back for a belly rub.   Desdemona  is feisty and was always first to the food dish and God help the puppy standing in her way.  Othello, the giant Black moor, became the de facto leader and sometimes bully who uses his size to bowl over anyone.  And finally, tiny, sweet Juliet, who got sick and lost ground on all the others in terms of size - but who doesn't seem to have gotten the memo and is every bit the bully Othello is.

It's hard not to anthropomorphize the puppies, ascribe to them emotions and thoughts they probably don't experience.  So when we said goodbye to Caesar (after waiting around for a while till his new - uh - mommy showed up, just to see the moment when she met him and fell in love, and what a wonderful moment that was), I had to tell myself that he was just curious and maybe a bit nervous, but not sad or feeling abandoned.

Stupid.  To even have such thoughts.

But today, as the four boys were playing out in the yard (Desi and Ophelia are in getting turored, while Juliet was at the Humane Society again, and today she became the last of the eight to be adopted, so .. "Yay!".  And .. "oh."), I tried not to think that - for a few of them - it would be the last time they'd play with their mom.  Puck went to his new home an hour after this video was taken. Romeo, Othello, and my boy Antony - all gone to wonderful homes.  So, "Yay!"  And ... "Oh."

Even now, as I watch the video, I'm reminded for all the world of those times when I would go out in the yard when my kids were toddlers and let all the neighbourhood kids wrestle me to the ground and pounce on me and beat me up while I would toss them around, roughly but not carelessly.  We all loved it, just as much as these guys seem to.

I'm kinda glad they didn't know what tonight would bring, that this last giddy wrestle with their mom was just as filled with joy as every other playtime.

This is hard.  And good.

But hard.

Comments

[shari]

Awww Nils, you big softie. You're killin' me. I'm wearing mascara! STOP!!

Congratulations on a difficult and wonderful job well done. Your family has provided these well-adjusted pups with a foundation for grand and happy adventures. I think you're the bomb.

[shari]

And just because I can't stand to leave sweet sentiment alone, my comment on your final three statements is: Isn't hard always good?

heh

[Nils]

I'm going to deflect most of the praise to Allison who got us involved in this whole adventure but who really stepped up and made it (relatively) easy to do. SHE is the bomb. Truly.

I'd do it again. Not right away. But yeah, I'd do it again.

And Shari, that last one is for you. Because doing it again and again is also aways good.

[candace]

Why'd you have to go and ruin a tear-free day? Huh?

You and your sentimentality. And puppies. Cute, cute puppies.

[Ortizzle]

A lovely final chapter.

I hope Ty isn't too sad.

Interesting that My Fave, Ophelia, is "the bitch." Hmph! Since you said it was figurative as well as literal, well... here are my thoughts on that:

I don’t think it’s fair
And I know why you’re mad
She crapped under your chair
And that was quite bad

But how can you possibly
call her that name?
Are a rose and a “little bitch”
one and the same?

Ophelia, darling,
wherever you roam
Please know that Ortizzle
Would’ve giv’n you a home

[wordgirl]

As if the raging case of PMS wasn't enough to make me cry into my cornflakes...

I'm glad everyone's getting adopted. A puppy for everyone who wants or needs one. That is how it should be. Your house is undoubtedly quiet. It reminds me of the episode of the Andy Griffith Show were Opie uses a slingshot to knock a bird's nest out of a tree...and kills the mother of three tiny baby birds. He had to raise them in a cage and take the place of the mother and, when it is time, he has to release them. Standing in that yard with an empty cage in his hand, Opie's feelings of sadness catch him by surprise. He looks at the cage and says (with a catch in his voice), "This cage sure looks empty, Pa." And Andy, seeing the bigger picture and hearing the chirping of the newly freed birds says, "Yes...but don't the trees look nice and full!"

That's how your post makes me feel.

[wordgirl]

Hmmmph. It's not "were" Opie uses a slingshot. It's "where" Opie uses a slingshot. Damned hormones.

[wordgirl]

Hmmmph. It's not "were" Opie uses a slingshot. It's "where" Opie uses a slingshot. Damned hormones.

[Carolyn]

Hi,

I happened to come across your blog one day after looking at dogs on the Humane Society web site. I checked out Ty's blog, which led me to yours, and since then I've been checking in to see the latest on those cute little furry babies!

A few months ago, we had to put down our 14 year old family dog, three days before my wedding. I'm one of those crazy dog lovers you used to roll your eyes at, who thinks a home is not a home without a dog, and that they are very much a part of the family (I'm glad you've seen the light, by the way ;o)). So lately I've been looking at the poor little fellas on the Humane Society web site, and trying to convince my mom to take one. I'm still in an apartment, so I can't get one of my own yet :o(.

So since I am very sadly dogless for now, I've been living vicariously through you, following along the very amusing stories, pictures and videos of the puppies and I just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed reading your blog. You and your family are wonderful to have done this for Ty and her babies.

I couldn't have done it. I don't know how you could bear to let them go!! I would have ended up with a permanent zoo of 9 big dogs and a sea of shit for a yard!! On second thought, I guess I can see how you could let them go. At least you'll have some wonderful memories.

[shawnte]

So bittersweet. *sigh*

[Sara Sue]

Makes me want a puppy...(sniff)

[Craig Willson]

'tis a foin ting use done, laddie. Makes me proud!

[daysgoby]

What he said, minus the accent.

[kalki]

Even if they don't have emotions (something Rob (aka "Daddy") must often remind me of as well), the kittens in our litter definitely had distinct personalities from the very beginning, too. Which is pretty cool.

I'm glad you found homes for them all, although I'm rather disappointed you didn't keep Juliet. You're smarter than I thought.

[Lynnie]

And if you think the puppies are in for some confusion and heartache... imagine Ty, as one by one... well, you get the picture...I'm thinking "bittersweet" is not the adjective she'd be choosing...

[CircusKelli]

Well damn, Nils... I had thought of the pups leaving YOU, and yeah, I can see how that would be sad and all that, but THEN you throw in how they're leaving their MOTHER... seeing her for the last time... GAH.

What? No, I'm blowing my nose and wiping my eyes because I still have a cold... I'm SO not crying...

[Allie]

Let's think of it this way: the pups and their mom are parting ways with love in their hearts and fond memories.

And Kalki, it's not that he is smart, it's that he's spiteful. Ask anyone in this house why we aren't keeping at least one puppy, and the number one reason is spite. Everyone kept telling us, "You're gonna end up with a puppy!" and being the stubborn jerks that we all are, we were determined to prove them wrong. However, I can't help but feel that by winning the battle, we are somehow losing. :)

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

I've always thought of pets as part of the family - my pets growing up were siblings, Jess' pets "think" of me as Aunt Katy (go on, ask 'em), and my kittens would call me "Mommy" if they could but master the art of human speech. Although, with the things they see, it's probably better that they don't.

Let's hope all their new homes are as caring as the one they're leaving now. Don't think of it as babies leaving - think of it as less poop under your chair.

(And yes, THANK YOU, three freakin' syllables)

[Laura]

Now what are we going to talk about?

Any chance of Allie bringing home a litter of kittens?

[Robert Paterson]

Nils - well done you. I would never have been strong enough to let them go so could never have taken them on. On the Family issue - current reserach suggest that man/dog have neen family for more than 100,000 years. When I say family I mean that we seem to have come to an arrangement.

Dogs would hold large animals on the hunt and man woud make the kill - all would share the result. This is important becuase all other high primates do not share food but wolves do. Maybe we learned from them. It was the only feasible way for the 2 to work together. Our digestive systems are very close and we are the only 2 species who can run any other down over time.

Of course some kid would have brought a puppy into the camp and kids and puppies would have played.

What other species can "read" us as well - especially emotionally. I think that they are more than our best friend - they are true partners and hence true family. In fact I woudl rather be with a dog than most humans and many members of my own family and I find puppies much more attractive than babies.

Sorry about the rant - but you inspired it Nils - again good for you and all the Lings

[whfropera]

Laura - a surprise is nigh, and everyone here will have much to chat about very soon.

Nils - I echo everyone else to say that is a wonderful thing your family did, although I will miss hearing the puppy yelps in the background on the phone.
Email later today, btw.

[Laura]

I'm certain of that, whfopera. He has talked of nothing but... ;)

[Squirl]

So sad, yet so happy. I'm glad they all found homes.

[kalki]

Allie, when it comes to kids, I'm a stubborn jerk in much the same way. My answer ("Never!") when someone asks me when we're going to have kids is said with spite more than anything else.

In other news, I miss the puppies.