This morning, I got up at 8:30 to make breakfast for our three remaining guests. My wife's sisters and a brother-in-law were all that remained of a steady stream of guests that started Wednesday, July 5.
Since guests began arriving, first in a trickle but soon after in one huge clump, we have had, at our comfy little farm house, the following events:
2 medium-sized parties.
1 giant party with live music and full-on BBQ
2 sit-down dinners for 12 or more
1 buffet dinner for 12 or more
2 sit down dinners for 8
2 sit-down breakfasts
8 informal gatherings and at least that many "Let's just stop at our place for a beer and figure out what happens next ... "
Average number of houseguests on a given night: 4
Number of bottles of wine consumed: 49
Number of empty bottles of liquor to be recycled: 12
Number of cases of beer/coolers to be recycled: 19
Number of kegs of beer consumed: 2
Number of lobsters consumed: 55
Number of 5 pound bags of mussels consumed: 6
Number of bags of chips/snacks consumed: 24
Number of burgers slapped on the grille: 52
Number of hot dogs/sausages consumed: 35
Number of quarts of strawberries consumed: 9
It has been energizing and tiring, rewarding and frustrating, heart-warming and exasperating. I love both my family and my wife's family, and I adore our dear friends, but I think anybody reading this will understand that this morning, I was not saddened at the thought of finally having the house back and having nothing to do but clean in blissful silence.
So, you know, it wasn't one of the highlights of the week this morning at 9:30 when my sister-in-law checked their tickets and said "Oh, shit. We don't leave at 11:35! We leave at 9:35! We missed our goddamn flight!".
Give me a fair judge and a compassionate jury and no court in the country would convict me.
Update:
They finally got away late this morning (coincidentally and not ironically, thank you Alanis Morrisette, at 11:35). There is quiet in the land.
I want to reiterate that I do love my sisters-in-law. But I think even they would be unsurprised to hear that there was a certain degree of relief when they boarded their flight.
So, to add to the tally above:
Number of fresh new bumps in the crawl space: 0
LMAO!! What a wonderful post! I'm sure you can't wait for your baby girl to get married!
When's the next installment of your parents' story??
Posted by: Sara Sue | July 16, 2006 at 06:10 PM
Aaaaaagggghhhhhhhhh!
The never-departing house guests! We'll chip in for your lawyer. You're totally justified. ;)
Posted by: Squirl | July 16, 2006 at 08:00 PM
You got a tally sheet on the door of the fridge or something?
Golly, I haven't kept such close track of foodstuffs since I cooked for a cafeteria.
And yeah, I can send over a good wrist-rocket if you need it.
We don't need it to keep the rabbits out of the garden since Oscar is on duty.
Posted by: MrsDoF | July 16, 2006 at 08:31 PM
I do all the cooking. I do all the buying. I remember.
One further note: the tally does NOT include the wedding itself. This is just the intake at our house.
Posted by: Nils | July 16, 2006 at 09:04 PM
Wonderful recounting of the events and all it takes to make them events!! Yes, I love family, also, but there comes a time when I just want q.u.i.e.t. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to justify being in Florida every winter for several weeks! I'm really, really glad my son-in-law likes me! He's even made it clear that I can move in if I want! No, I'll go home as long as I can. Looking forward to your return to the delicious story when you have rested a while. :-)
Posted by: Lyn | July 16, 2006 at 09:39 PM
Good Food and a nice island community.
No wonder your guests linger longer.
Posted by: MrsDoF | July 16, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Dang! I need a nap after reading that post. I'd have had to hole up in an isolation tank LONG before the last guest left. You must have the patience of a saint.
Posted by: wordgirl | July 17, 2006 at 01:28 AM
haha...i can just imagine you standing in a corner, hunched over a clipboard, keeping track of everything that's consumed. :)
Posted by: Gora_Kagaz | July 17, 2006 at 10:16 AM
I think your guests were from Manitoba area, right? That means they had translated the time into their time? or messed up the time conversion when figuring out when they'd return home? Whatever the case--that's a lot of visiting and parties you've been having--time for a break, eh?!
Once I was in Virginia for a wedding--near Christmas time--and I was staying with the bride and groom who stayed at a hotel on their wedding night and then went and drove me to the airport the next day--only to find out that my flight had been cancelled due to inclimate weather--ice on the landing strip or something similar. Imagine how I felt--having to impose and stay at their place--the day after their wedding! They were VERY kind to put me up....but BOY can you say AWKWARD!
Posted by: Effie | July 17, 2006 at 01:13 PM
More to the point ... can you say "earplugs"?
Posted by: Nils | July 17, 2006 at 01:32 PM
LOL Effie and Nils. That is funny. The earplug thing.
I still can't get over that you cook at all, let alone do all of it...I can't imagine. After 16 years of marriage, I have taught my husband to make Kraft Dinner for the kids, he can boil or scramble eggs and make grilled cheese sandwiches.
I know you are pleased to have your house back! Sounds like you are quite the hosts!
Posted by: laura | July 17, 2006 at 03:02 PM
Wow, you sure know how to throw a party(ies)! When's the next one? ha ha
Posted by: Katherine | July 17, 2006 at 04:57 PM
sounds like the food and alcohol consumed on my vaca last week!
the bottle redemption money could send my non-existent children to college.
Posted by: marit | July 17, 2006 at 11:38 PM
Good LORD you people like lobsters!
Posted by: kalki | July 18, 2006 at 12:15 AM
LOL -- Oh man!
I'm glad all worked out ok, and that you didn't have to do any further work to the crawlspace. ;)
Posted by: CircusKelli | July 18, 2006 at 10:52 AM
Wow - you survived...that's what counts. I sympathize because at every major holiday I also get overnighters...too long of a trip to go back the same day. I love them all but usually am ready to scream by the time the last guest leaves.
Some people are born guests and some people are born hosts and I'm the former.
Sounds like you have a bit of both in you Nilbo.
Posted by: marybishop | July 18, 2006 at 11:57 AM
As much as anyone loves family the sound of silence after a joyous gathering can be just as welcome!
Sounds like a fun time was had by all!
Posted by: The Kept Woman | July 18, 2006 at 10:09 PM
You forgot to say how many Alka-Seltzers and aspirins were consumed, ha, ha.
Beautiful wedding, beautiful bride. Which reminds me, I am very much looking forward to your next installment on the "other wedding." But enjoy the sounds of silence for as long as you can. (Cleaning is also therapeutic).
Posted by: Ortizzle | July 19, 2006 at 02:45 PM
Dear lord, I'm amazed you had the energy to put this post out for us. If it were me, I'd be whimpering in the corner, saying things like "When are they leeeeeeaving?"
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | July 19, 2006 at 02:59 PM
"... and after all that, Nilbo dropped off the face of the planet. The End."
Posted by: CircusKelli | July 21, 2006 at 09:53 AM