This Vehicle Stops For Real Life

While I'm enjoying telling the story of my mom and dad and how they came together, I need to pause for a bit as present day love takes precedence over the past.  To be more specific:

    My daughter is getting married this weekend.

    OK, let me try that again: (ahem) My daughter is getting married this weekend.

    Nope.  Still not registering.  I can say the words, I can write them out, I can sing them, shout them from the rooftop, or tap them out in Morse Code but they still don’t seem to be catching hold in my brain.

My daughter?  Is getting married?  This weekend?

    Even with the different punctuation, it’s more than my brain can handle.

    For one thing, it is physically impossible for me to have a daughter who is old enough to be getting married.  That would make me ... well, old.  And I’m a lot of things, but old?  No way.

    Besides, it is patently ridiculous to suggest that a young girl I can clearly remember having to gently push across the threshold of her nursery school on the first day could be considered of marriageable age.  I mean, we do have laws in this country.

    Okay, she’s not in nursery school any more, obviously, but it was just a few months ago that I dropped her off for her first day of middle school.  She didn’t want to take the bus and I was up early in the morning anyway, so what the hell.  As I dropped her off, I expected her to leap out of the still-rolling car to avoid the humiliation of actually being seen with her father because “ ... Omigod he is sooooo embarrassing!”

    Instead, she leaned over and gave me a kiss.  Right there, in the car, in front of all her friends.  And it occurs to me even as I write this that never once has she ever bailed out of giving me a kiss goodbye, no matter what she was doing or how many cool friends were around, waiting to tease her.  There’s incontrovertible evidence that she’s a little girl, right there.

    The point I am making is,  these memories are far too clear for them to be more than a quarter of a century old.  They must be far more recent.  Ergo, I couldn't possibly have a daughter getting married this weekend.  Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. 

    I will now go and weep the bitter tears of a father for whom everything is happening just a bit too quickly.

    When she was a baby, I thought we'd never get that damn kid out of diapers.  Then she was barely walking when all of a sudden whoooosh it was her first day of kindergarten.  But elementary school dragged on and on until I realized she'd somehow made it into junior high when I wasn't looking.

    It was only a week or so later that I was helping her pick her high school electives - and then of course she had to decide what her major was going to be in University and  that was only a month ago.  So don't even try to tell me she's getting married.  Not buyin'.

Maybe it's just a dream.  That's it.  I'll wake up and she'll be bringing in a handful of dandelions to put in a vase for Mom.  Or she'll be rushing out the front door to find the bird that hit the picture window, and making a little nest in a Kleenex box and bringing the damn thing in to me and asking me to make it better. 

Or maybe I'll wake up to find her climbing that stupid tree that I've told her to stay out of a million times, then calling me outside to see how high she's gotten and making my knees go weak when I look up at her.

Well ... I can still look up at her, but now she's standing right beside me.  And my knees still go weak, but ... well, she's always had that effect on me anyway. 

And this weekend, unless someone fixes the tear in the Space/Time Continuum, she’ll take me by the arm and support me as I walk her down the aisle because I know my knees will be too weak for that.

I need to go and lay down, close my eyes, get some perspective on all this.  But now I'm afraid to do that. 

I mean, you can see why. 

Look what happened the last time I closed my eyes for a bit.

                     *****************************************************************

So, I promise to come back to the story.  I'm just not sure whether I'll be able to do much this weekend.  You'll be the first to know.

Comments

[candace]

Damn you for making me cry before lunchtime.

When my nephew got married, my daughter was just two. At one point during the reception, I was talking to my sister-in-law and saw, from the other side of the room, my husband, dancing with his little girl in his arms.

She's going to be very mad at me indeed on her wedding day, when I'm blubbering like a baby.

[Lyn]

It is wonderful and scary to watch our children grow. How I would love to have a time machine to turn back to relive various moments! I wouldn't stay there ... the journey between then and now hasn't always been gentle. Well, I still have the wonderful memories of first steps, little triumphs throughout their lives, those weddings. Enjoy your weekend. It will be another beautiful facet of your daughter for you to hold in your heart.

[shane bryanton]

Nils,

Maybe it's because we didn't have her unitl I was 37 yrs old but I'm already painfully aware of time's passage everytime I look at my sweet little 22 month old daughter.

I know I'll wake up one morning to find her a teenager and then a grown woman.

I try to stay in the NOW as much as I can when I'm with her and each small moment.

I hope she's as steadfast in her kisses as you daughter.

Shane

[Kevo]

Nils,
Christy and I want to pass along our congrats. Our little ones are in diapers but even now its hard to believe how quickly they are changing.
all the best,
Kevin

[Katherine]

What a wonderful tribute to your daughter! How lucky she was to have a dad like you growing up.

[Gora_Kagaz]

aww....congratulations to you and your daughter! that's so sweet. i hope you guys have fun and enjoy the wedding. :)

[Sara Sue]

Congratulations to ALL of you! I can't wait to see the post regarding the wedding!

[Laura]

Nothing like a nice blubber fest in the morning!

Man, thanks for making me cry! Now I have an idea how my Dad must have been feeling when I got married 16 years ago. Well, maybe he was feeling worse since I was marrying someone he didn't really approve of. Must make things harder. Nice to know you approve of this new SIL of your's:) MY Dad loves my hubby now, just took a few years:) LOL

I need to think twice the next time my 5 year old daughter brings me those yellow weeds to put in a glass of water. I find it cute, but I guess I don't appreciate it as much as I should?? Thanks for putting things in perspective.

Have a great weekend, we can't wait to hear about it!!!

[CircusKelli]

I hope you're happy. You've made the internet cry...

*sniff*

Beautiful, Nils.

Congrats to the bride and groom!

[Torrie]

Have a great time. She'll always be your little girl.

Thanks for the "pep" talk last night. The husband came home and further boosted my confidence.

[Effie]

*sniff* that was beautiful!

Will you be giving a speech too and making her cry, hmm?

Don't worry--she'll always be your little girl. Enjoy the father-daughter dance!

[Squirl]

That was so sweet. I'm glad she never stopped the goodbye kisses. :)

Doesn't matter how old she is, or whether she's married, she's still your little girl.

You guys have a great weekend.

[Jim Fogg]

That was truly lovely!

Mozel tov

[William]

Congrats to you and your daughter.

[wordgirl]

I'm back...and not a moment too soon. I get to see my oldest sons for only the third time since late May and I know they'll look and sound older. The youngest already looks different to me. We're not getting ready for a wedding here, but the oldest leaves for college in a year and, like you, these milestone moments make me feel many emotions all at once. I hope everything goes just the way it should...for you and the family. Come back with details!

[Tanya]

Congrats to your little girl and have a lovely weekend.

[MrsDoF]

Happy Wedding Day!
~~love and Huggs, Diane

[Shalini]

came here via Gerah's blog... how sweet! I think my dad felt the same way after I got married and last year after my sis got married. It does go by fast!

[Laura]

Just a few more hours till both you and Erin take the biggest walk of your lives. :)

I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds for all of you. Erin has no idea how much she paved the way for my daughters, as almost every time I had a problem with them, I would turn to Nils for advice on what to do.

And you know, in all the years I've known him, I have never once heard him complain about Erin or Allie. He was always so proud of both girls, and I can see why. :)

Much love and blessings to both Erin and Mathew on this day!

[nadia]

awwww. Almost makes me tear up.

Congratulations to your daughter.

i cannot begin to articulate in words how privileged you and your daughters are to share this special relationship, a relationship that is evident through your words. i think i'm about the same age as your daughters; i haven't ever had the same bond with my father. i love my father to bits (and i'm sure vice versa). Simultaneously, i have never felt that father-daughter relationship that i have read about or seen in my friends' families. Hence, maybe i feel that i speak with some credibility when i reiterate that you and your daughters are extremely, extremely blessed to share such a bond. May all the coming years make that bond ever stronger.

[kalki]

Congratulations to Erin and Matthew! And somehow I think your speech will be most perfect father-of-the-bride speech of all time, ever. You have a way with words, you know.

[CircusKelli]

Happy Monday!

What? No wedding story yet? Sheesh... ya slacker. :)

(kidding!) I hope all is going well.

[Squirl]

Didja survive it? ;)