Hey, Everybody - I Got Wood!

This morning - and in fact, for the last couple of months, every morning - I woke up with no wood.

This was distressing to me, and I have to say my wife has not been happy, either.  Over the years, we've both come to depend on me having wood to help us both fight off the chilly winter nights.  But last year, when the time came to measure my wood, I came up short.

I get cranky when I can't get wood - I'm not used to it.  So the last few months have been hard, hard, hard.

But all that's over today, because this afternoon a really nice guy came to the house and slipped me all the wood I can handle.

He was great - he drove up in a truck and knocked on the door.  He was a rugged looking fellow, as you'd expect, but he sure knew his wood.  When I showed him the tight space he'd have to fit his wood in, he didn't hesitate for a second.

"I can do that," he said, and sure enough, he came around back and slipped it in easily.  It's no nice when they can do that without damaging the whole area.

And I mean ... this wasn't just a stick.  This was a whole lot of wood, folks.  It was cut.  Nice girth.   Perfect length.  All of it Hard.  I've never seen its equal.

Well, of course, it's one thing for me to have someone slip me some wood - quite another to know what to do with it.  And boy, I have learned over the years how to handle wood.  Of course, I'm gonna spend the next while all bent over and I may walk funny, but I can tell you, it's worth it.

I love getting wood, and if I could,  I'd share it with you.  Maybe later I'll post a picture.

Wait ... did I say something ...?  What?

*************  UPDATE  ***************

I often get asked if I could share pictures of my wood, so here are a couple :

Now, I grant you, in these pictures my wood is not very impressive.  But this is early on in the process, right after delivering one load.  Maybe once the other five have been delivered, you'll have a little more respect.

One of the problems with getting wood, of course, it the number of times you have to handle it.  Any time you get wood, you can look forward to hours and hours of work, and I have to say after a while that gets hard on the back.  Sometimes my wife will help me, but she gets sore pretty quickly and certainly isn't much good after the first load or two.

So, basically I find when I get wood, I have to deal with it myself.  It's OK.  I'm used to it.  And I've figured out a few things that make life a little easier.  For years when I was handling wood I never wore gloves.  My hands would get all chafed and red and sore.  So now I use some thick work gloves.

Laura also points out an issue, that being getting wood wet.  Of course, a little moisture is good for wood - prevents cracking, for one thing.  But you don't want to get it too wet, so I cover it with a tarp (basically, because when you have as much wood as I have, nothing else is big enough).

I will say there have been some cryptic comments - not sure where you guys are taking this simple, straightforward discussion of a common event in rural life.  But let me just say that if you're looking for wood innuendo, Laura, I'm your man.

Comments

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

Oh, god...

My head just exploded.

I JUST cleaned up in here, dammit!

[Laura]

I always knew you were the King of obvious innuedo. LOL!

[William]

Question...Does it burn afterwards?

[The Kept Woman]

There's just nothing like getting some good, hard wood, my friend.

[Gerah]

I hope you realize how many men would NEVER EVER EVER be able to write that post.

Sound like things are going to be hot around your house...

[Jim fogg]

Hard wood in the morning smells like victory to me........

[Tanya]

Thank you. I woke up in a pissed-off mood and THAT is going to make my day. Thank you.

I am sure wishing there was some wood in my place at the moment. I have to agree with The Kept Woman on that one.

[Squirl]

I"m all settled in and ready for the loooong, continuing saga of your wood.

[kalki]

Our first year of marriage, I got a lot of wood. In fact, that winter we spent almost every Saturday, all day long, working the wood. Always left me breathing hard. And truth was, it was more wood than I needed, so I was always offering to share the wood. My mom took some wood. Rob gave my grandmother some wood, too. It's amazing how excited people get over free wood.

[amy]

Innuendo aside. I loved it when we lived in NS and they brought all our wood and we stacked it up all neat and tidy at the side of our cottage.

[Laura]

I was about to tell you not to let the wood get wet, but I guess that doesn't apply in this case...

[wordgirl]

Oh my gawd! I've also heard that oil, when used liberally, keeps the wood supple and prevents (ew!) cracks.

[Susie]

sigh. Haven't had any wood here for weeks, now. But I did enjoy reading about yours. Thank you for sharing.

[Squirl]

Wood - now with pictures!

[marybishop]

I like your wood and wow your post struck a cord with me.

I'm down to a little bit of wood and a cold winter looms ahead. Luckily, with enough money one can get all the hard wood one needs and in the exact size that pleases each person. Especially if you ax politely.

Personally, I like the long lean wood rather than the short fat wood.

I believe the former gives off more heat.

Would that I had your wood! Alas, I will have to start making phone calls to get mine.

[Fuzzball]

*giggling like a middle schooler*