I'm home.
Last night my plane touched down around 11. My wife picked me up at the airport, and five minutes later I was in my own house, sitting on my own sofa, having a drink, listening as my daughter chatted excitedly about how the past two weeks have gone for her. I then climbed into the hot tub to shake off the effects of nine hours in airplanes and airport lounges. I slept in my own bed last night beside my wife (and - this is a new development - my dog. I am not at all pleased about this turn of events, and intend to bring it up at the next management meeting. If I ever get invited to one.).
And this morning I got up, wandered down into my office, and switched on my computer, which - for me (and feel free to make whatever judgments you want; I honestly and sincerely don't give a rat's ass if you think it's sad or not) - completes the experience of getting home.
While I tour with a lap-top, I can't always find a wireless hot-spot - and trust me, if you're touring in rural areas and staying in hotels that proudly proclaim on their billboards that they offer "COLOURED TV'S!!!" (sic), your chances of finding a high speed LAN are as dim as the 40 watt bulb they've installed in the so-called "reading lamp" beside the bed. I asked one concierge at a palatial prairie motel if there was anywhere in town that offered high-speed internet and he looked at me with eyes as big as those on the children in the painting over the bed in Room 12, and said "They have e-mail computers down to the library, if that's what you're after. But it closed at 4:30."
After two weeks of hopping on someone else's computer to have a quick glance at my e-mail or at best a mini-tour around some of my favourite blogs, it was sheer bliss to have as much time as I wanted to catch up with all those sites you can see on the right hand side of this page. So that's where part of today went.
And the rest went to the minutiae, chores-waiting, and myriad tidy-ups and catch-ups that come with being away for a couple of weeks: dozens of little errands that were sitting around waiting to be done, and the somewhat larger chore of looking at what's happening in the month ahead and deciding what needs my full attention and what can be put off. I have at least one huge project on the go and several smaller ones, all of them interesting and fun, all of them needing a piece of me. So, it's like triage, only nobody dies.
I love touring, and this tour was fun because I got to combine it with my parents' 60th anniversary celebrations. But more and more, the road is wearing on me. And more and more, I realize that Glenda the Good Witch was right ...
Yea! Nils is back! Funny stories are just on the horizon, I feel it.... We missed you. Glad your tour went well. Fill us in when you get a chance. And the dog on the bed thing? Trying to tell the dog it now has to sleep on the floor is like telling a man he has to go back to holding hands, if you know what I mean... *wink*
Posted by: jessica_deva | October 11, 2005 at 04:56 PM
If you find Roxie reclining in your favorite chair with a beer resting against her paws, you'll know you were gone too long.
And you'd be right, too. ;)
uwm;)
Posted by: Laura | October 11, 2005 at 05:09 PM
I'm glad you are back. Whenever Scott is out of town I have the whole bed full of critters. Bad guys don't like critters. ;)
Posted by: Amanda B. | October 11, 2005 at 07:46 PM
JD - I've got a couple of stories I'll share in the next day or two.
Amanda - GOOD guys don't like critters in the bed, either. They're too ... umm .. curious.
Laura - my chair is sacrosanct - even my kids won't dare sit in it. But Roxy can have the beer. The second she touches my rye, she becomes Roxy the Amazing Flying Dog. AUWM2.
Posted by: Nils | October 11, 2005 at 08:00 PM
Welcome home.
Please stop leaving me.
Posted by: Torrie | October 11, 2005 at 11:16 PM
I just wanna see you in the ruby slippers, dude.
And nothing else.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | October 12, 2005 at 10:22 AM
You're back! You're back!
We've missed you.
Posted by: suburban misfit | October 12, 2005 at 11:14 AM
Missed you!
You'll get used to the dog in the bed. It's really quite endearing. They just want to snuggle with their pack! Who needs space to roll over, or covers? Overrated.
Posted by: Ern | October 12, 2005 at 01:26 PM
Torrie, dahling, I never really left. I just wasn't where I should be.
Bucky ... dude ... you'll get the ruby slippers photo as soon as that used rolling pin clears customs. I can't imagine what they're doing with it, but I imagine it drove the sniffing dogs crazy.
SM ... I know you missed me. Recalibrate your sights and allow for the wind.
Ern ... I don't mind her snuggling with her pack. It's MY pack I'm not keen on her snuggling with. And neither space nor covers is an issue, because I sleep with a woman - so I get neither.
Posted by: Nils | October 12, 2005 at 01:51 PM
I feel so blessed - you came by to see me amidst all the catching up I'll bet you had to do :) Thank you! I'll be emailing tomorrow after my appointment on the ADD thing - kinda scary!
Posted by: Silly Nessa | October 12, 2005 at 04:19 PM
"Just follow the yellow brick road."
or
"I'm a little bit muddled."
or
"Only bad witches are ugly."
or
"have no power here! Now begone, before somebody drops a house on you!"
?
I thought maybe it was "You can never go home again." but then I remembered that was a Wolfe not a Witch.
Welcome Home.
Posted by: sheryl | October 12, 2005 at 06:25 PM
Silly Nessa ... good luck with your appointment. And remember that "different" does not constitute a "disorder". Learning I had undiagnosed ADD was about the best thing that's happened to me in years.
Sheryl - surely you're toying with me, and you know it was Glenda who told Dorothy to repeat the words "There's no place like home."
And now we have reached the limits of Judy Garland/Wizard of Oz/Musicals references for a practicing straight man.
Posted by: Nils | October 12, 2005 at 07:06 PM
Well, I'm glad you're home. Thanks for stopping by and commenting today. I needed the lecture on gargoyles v. grotesques. BTW, was Bucky able to bring her marks up?
Posted by: Squirl | October 12, 2005 at 10:01 PM
Nil,
Have you ever seen the magazine ADDitude?
I often think I've got ADD but don't want to take any meds. Though I seem to do better at staying organized while working--than when i wasn't!
Posted by: Leane | October 12, 2005 at 10:43 PM
Squirlie - Bucky always gets full marks - it's those oral exams. And it wasn't a lecture - just some pompous knowitalling ...
Leane - haven't seen that mag - I'll check it out. If you think you might have ADD, there are a number of online inventories you can have a look at to solidify your thinking, and any good therapist can help you with a diagnosis. I'm not big on medication as a general rule - but I'm here to tell you that Tom Cruise (speaking of pompous knowitalls) is full of crap. Ritalin has - in my experience - zero bad side effects and a huge upside. As with any medication, your mileage may vary ... and again, consult a professional. Just sayin' it's made a world of difference to me.
Posted by: Nils | October 12, 2005 at 11:53 PM
Nils,
I'm going to email you-
(that way the world doesn't have to hear about the ADHD in my family etc!!) but I do agree--Tom Cruise is full of crap!
Posted by: Leane | October 13, 2005 at 07:57 AM
Glad to get any (non-spam) e-mails, Leane ... but the world could stand to hear more about ADD and ADHD. The more people know, the more they'll be able to see that it presents challenges - and huge opportunities.
When I was first diagnosed with adult ADD, I was a little embarrassed and ashamed. Now I can see myself as a member of a huge, secret club - with members like Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and millions of other high achievers.
Not that I'll ever invent anything, or paint the Mona Lisa. But great things are possible when you have a built-in predeliction for multi-tasking, and all you have to do is learn how to control it.
Posted by: Nils | October 13, 2005 at 08:53 AM
Maybe you could paint the Bona Lisa?
I hear you need a special, um, brush for that.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | October 13, 2005 at 09:43 AM
I hate dim hotel rooms. I once insisted that we buy light bulbs to replace all the ones in the hotel room. Ah, we had a great time that evening, screwing...lightbulbs.
Posted by: kalki | October 13, 2005 at 10:38 AM
Hey Nils--welcome back! Would the Bona Lisa be all off-white in colour? (Sorry I asked....)
Posted by: Effie | October 13, 2005 at 12:46 PM
I agree Nils about ADHD and the world needing to know more!! I did email you at hotmail--hope it went through. I write for the magazine ADDitude, and think that you'd have a lot to offer the magazine, yourself! They do a lot about adults with ADD. I was glad to hear Ty Pennington from that Home Makeover show has publicized the fact that he is also ADD.
Posted by: Leane | October 13, 2005 at 09:22 PM
Buckster - I'll love ya till my Bona LeavesYa ...
Kelly - see? Always go for double beds. Much easier to screw in
lightbulbs, because you can reach them.
Effie - you are allowing Bucky to corrupt your mind. Good girl.
Leane - e-mail received and reply pending. I was gonna do it right away but got distracted ... hey, wait a damn minute ...
Posted by: Nils | October 13, 2005 at 11:47 PM
Welcome home you dirty old man.
Posted by: JessicaRabbit | October 14, 2005 at 04:06 PM
Moi? I'm hardly "old" ...
Posted by: Nils | October 14, 2005 at 08:27 PM
Okay, I know you're "trivia guy"... but it's Glinda, not Glenda.
There is just NO way I can feel good about pointing out that mistake to you.
Posted by: Davey | October 15, 2005 at 10:51 AM
Okay, I know you're "trivia guy"... but it's Glinda, not Glenda.
There is just NO way I can feel good about pointing out that mistake to you.
Posted by: Davey | October 15, 2005 at 10:53 AM
Welcome back to you, Nilbo.
I have to tell you, I loved "Down to the library". Reminded me of living in NS and how people used to talk. Ain't it.
Posted by: Amy | October 16, 2005 at 09:54 PM
Welcome back Nils!
I was worried sick.
Posted by: marit | October 17, 2005 at 12:10 AM
Yeah, Davey, you're officially ready to come out now. It'd be best if you break the news to your girlfriend before she reads this.
Amy, it WAS a very Maritimes way to put it ... and in rural Manitoba, yet ...
And Marit, darlin' ... sorry to scare the crap out of you .. and out of you .. and out of you ...
Posted by: Nils | October 17, 2005 at 10:57 AM
Oh, and Davey ... all those years of teaching me and everyone else how to use computers ... and you don't have the patience to wait for the comments to load before you click again, so you end up double-posting? Shame on you. I'm going to leave it up, just to remind all the newbies.
Posted by: Nils | October 17, 2005 at 10:59 AM
Hey Nils--you have to go visit Bucky--she left something for you there! teehee
Posted by: Effie | October 18, 2005 at 01:40 PM
Oh, beleive me. I STILL don't think there is any crap to be scared out of me. I'm running on empty.
Posted by: marit | October 20, 2005 at 01:02 AM
The sultan of sarcasm, the prince of parody, the king of comedy, the czar of zany, the literati of glitterati has returned!
And, Hi Nils!
Posted by: marybishop | October 21, 2005 at 04:15 PM
WAIT. Nils and Davey? Davey H. and Nils? Can it be you?!
Posted by: Britmartini | May 09, 2006 at 11:21 PM
Umm .. I'm Nils. And Davey is Davey S., not H., so ... do we know you, Britmartini?
Posted by: Nils | May 10, 2006 at 10:37 AM
I think Britmartini was thinking of Nils Edwards and Davey Havok. And if i know better this isn't the Nils she was thinking of. But i may be wrong. i am so clueless.
Posted by: cassieopia | January 15, 2007 at 07:21 PM