My friend Kelly just got back from Paris. Before she went, she asked my thoughts on where she and her hub should stay, and I recommended L'Hotel de La Porte Dorée. It's a lovely hotel, a little ways from the centre of things but charming and very inexpensive in a city not known for its bargains in accomodation.
It's a three storey walk-up, except for the world's tiniest elevator. We're talking seriously tiny here, folks. Like, 18 inches, wall-to-wall. You know how you hear that in Paris, the City of Love, people sometimes make love in an elevator? Yeah, not this one, unless they're with Cirque de Soleil.
Since Kelly didn't take a picture of the elevator (some lame panic attack thing) ... I thought I could post one here for her: 
Yes, it is that small. Shoulder width, and I'm no body-builder. (Oh, shut up, neither are you). Maybe 3 1/2 to four feet deep.
I loved it.
Oh...oh god. Yes, that's it. That's the one.
::reaching for paper bag to breath into::
Posted by: kalki | September 13, 2005 at 11:43 PM
(Oh geez, come on Kelly. BREATHE into, for pete's sake.) I'm going to bed now.
Thanks for everything, Nils.
Posted by: kalki | September 13, 2005 at 11:44 PM
You're handsome, by the way. (Sorry for the mass commenting - that picture is preventing me from properly organizing my thoughts.)
Posted by: kalki | September 13, 2005 at 11:49 PM
The claustrophobia flashback is clearly crippling your judgement, but thank you nonetheless.
Posted by: Nils | September 14, 2005 at 12:16 AM
Eeeeeeep. I think that would be the end of me. Me no likey small spaces. Or elevators.
Posted by: Amanda B. | September 14, 2005 at 02:14 AM
There's not even enough room in that elly-vator for self love.
And Kelly's right - that's a great picture. Your beard might be a bit whiter than in your blog pic, but you look a lot younger in the elevator pic. Anything to do with whatchyer drinkin' there?
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | September 14, 2005 at 08:59 AM
The beard in my blog pic is dyed ... when I'm doing shows (especially my first, "The Truth About Daughters"), I don't want to confuse the audience by wandering out onstage with a baby in my arms and a white beard, so I darken it for tours and let it grow back when the tour is done. The blog pic was taken a couple of years ago, when I was tipping the scales at a cool 260. In the elevator pic, I'm at about 185. So therein might lie the secret to looking younger ...
Posted by: Nils | September 14, 2005 at 01:29 PM
Get out, you were never 260??? no way...
You never looked 260 anyway. nooo.
I would need an entire pitcher of margaritas before i'd get on that thing.
or at least 3 jack and cokes.
(that's rye and coke to you Canadians) (g)
Posted by: Laura | September 14, 2005 at 01:45 PM
I so want to make a comment that is related to the elevator, but I have to say...
YOU ARE SO CUTE NILBO!!
Posted by: kristine | September 14, 2005 at 02:14 PM
Nearly every single elevator we encountered in Germany, while living there, was the same size as that Paris one.
And my husband is 6'2". Yep.
Posted by: suburban misfit | September 14, 2005 at 03:09 PM
You are very cute in that picture. I decided that before I read the other commenters.
Posted by: Squirl | September 14, 2005 at 06:51 PM
(sigh) Yeah, the story of my life. "Ohh, you're so cute! Ohhh, you're so funny! Ohh, you're so nice! Now, sit here and let me complain to you about the guy I'm boinking." (sigh)
I'm kidding. You're all far too kind. Or maybe it's just a good picture. Or maybe you're all drunk. Or maybe you can sense my discomfort with the entire topic and wish the hell you'd focus on the size of the elevator, WHICH WAS THE POINT I WAS MAKING.
And yes, Laura, I was 260. Okay, 258. I always carried weight well, but it was there. It ain't, no more. Now I'm (evidently) cute. But there was a reason that the review in the Orlando Sentinel began with "Ling is a round, bald man ...". It was a good review, but has anyone ever liked having those words written about them?
Posted by: Nils | September 14, 2005 at 08:08 PM
If they ever refer to me as a round bald man, you'll know I was serious about the sex change decision. The more I think about it... well damm, I'd make a good man. I was always told I threw the football like a guy.
I'll contact the Sentinel reviewer for you and beat the crap out of him. how 'bout that?
By the way, bald is in. It's hot right now. Lots of guys are shaving their heads these days. Ever see a poor sap that has shaven his head, only to find out he's got a lopsided skull? Remind me to get out my cam/cell phone and go around taking picts of them. (g)
It should make you feel better to know I've never thought of you as "cute". (g). ;)
Posted by: Laura | September 14, 2005 at 08:42 PM
Oh, it does. But I'd be so much happier if you had a cute, nice, funny guy you could complain to about me.
Posted by: Nils | September 14, 2005 at 10:10 PM
Oh my god---that gives me a panic attack just looking at it.
Posted by: marit | September 14, 2005 at 10:24 PM
He's not THAT cute.
But the elevator was THAT small.
Posted by: Allie | September 15, 2005 at 12:13 AM
Zing! goes Allie.
I think we've all learned a valuable lesson from this post.
Size DOES matter.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | September 15, 2005 at 08:55 AM
Yup--younger looking with a white beard--interesting, eh?!And svelte too--I have to say, I agree with the masses, it don't hurt my eyes to look at you. But my that is a tiny elevator! And congrats on losing the weight--my hubby is struggling with that..he's about 225 right now...we'll see how that goes...
Posted by: effie | September 15, 2005 at 10:41 AM
Well... Um, people have sex in elevators?
Huh. I, um, never heard that before.
Posted by: Torrie | September 16, 2005 at 11:52 AM
Of COURSE they don't, Torrie.
And neither do they have sex in the stairwell of a nice New Orleans hotel.
Nope.
Because that would be WRONG.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | September 16, 2005 at 12:56 PM
oh,I find smaller elevator.
http://www.uniper.jp/kibun1.html
Can you close the door?
Yes,I can, because I am JAPANESE.
Posted by: Hiroshi Tracy | October 12, 2010 at 05:26 AM