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    « 100 Things You Didn't Know About Me | Main | Promise You Will Use This Only For Good ... »

    June 05, 2005



    I made it to 32. I'm going to have to bite this one off in chunks.

    #27 and & 32 - AMEN! I am the same way. I can't stand mean people. I can't eat fish.

    I might eat a mean fish. Nawwww...


    Read all of them - I think you're great! :)

    I wish I could have gone to one of your shows in England but they all seemed to be up North. I thought about stalking you when you went to Stonehenge but decided that might be weird ... only kidding but you should definitely try the Home Counties next time!


    Next tour is in February, and it's a little further South, from what my manager tells me. And hey ... if you want to set up a show at a local village hall as a fundraiser for something ...


    Brilliant, I'll keep an eye on the blog for dates then. :)


    Yay for me! I made it all the way through.

    And I only got bored once.

    I'm kidding, of course. It was more like seven or eight times. ;o)

    It's a great list, Nilbo. I've thought about doing one myself, but I'm not sure I could do it all at once. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us. And I love the "I am who I am" line. It's even better when you say it like Popeye. ("I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam.")

    Jim Fogg

    I made it through the list in one sitting requring no additonal food or water. I'm blessed with an outstaning memory as well. Even after years of abusing my brain pan I can still pull the odd "wow" memory out of my bag of tricks. Of the 100 things you "probably" don't know about Nils, conservatively I know close to half of em.
    Here's an additonal few: at one time Nils smoked cigarettes with authority.....Nils is tenacious, no matter what he never gave up on something he put his mind to.....As a young adult Nils could have been described as skinny........


    Heeheehee "smoked cigarettes with authority" ... you DO have a memory, me son ... that's from frigging High School ... which, you know, was like more than a decade ago ...


    hmmmmm I read all the way through. the only thing that surprised me was that you didnt eat the pizza crust. I think that's positively sinfull.

    I rather like the fact that I knew most of these, except for the BBC show, "The Office", which I've never heard of.
    and as for #68, which i've noticed from time to time, I think *I* would win that little discussion ;))))

    As far as being full of yourself, I dont think you come across that way in making this list. This is what we wanted to know! (I'll let you know when it happens again tho) ;)
    hmm, I feel for Joyce... LOL!
    Nils, you have had a most interesting life... very much so.
    It will also be interesting to see what the next 50 years holds... eh? ;)


    I read all the way through--you can come over and cook me breakfast and fresh bread and do my laundry any time!
    What's your column called?
    And, FYI, I have eaten a bad lasagna before--it only happened once--but I still ate it...

    suburban misfit

    Things that made me say, "Me too!":
    1, 2, 3, 10, 22, 23, 24 (but I can make rice and it's always perfect), 26 (I have had horrible lasagna, made with overcooked noodles, frozen veggies, and sauce from a jar), 35 (but reverse it), 47 (oh my God, yes), 54, 60, 61, 62, 81/

    As for three think of me as "Mommy" and of hubby as "Daddy". How do I know this? One of them is currently licking my toes, one is curled up in my lap purring away, and the other is as close to me as he can get without bothering the one licking my toes. The food bowl is full, and so is the water dish, so it's not about wanting victuals. I could list dozens of things they do that make me sure that they love me just as much as a dog would, but I'm hijacking again.

    I'm so rude that way!


    my me too moment: ok, I had lots of them, but this one made me laugh out loud:

    65. I have never lost a game of trivia. Ever. My brain is packed with useless, arcane information on the broadest possible range of subjects. I yell things at the contestants on "Jeopardy" and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". Mostly I yell things like "Who is Malthus, you moron! Who is Malthus!" And when they say "Who is ... umm ... Adam Smith?" I make a big braaaaappp noise and insult them. I've been told it's all very entertaining.

    I also do this with "Win Ben Stein's Money" - better w/Jimmy Kimmel than the chick sidekick, btw.


    15. ... I was just considered lazy and one of those people who never work to their potential.
    (Gee...could it be because you were above average, so people expected you to be perfect? Yeah, I can relate!)

    18. An hour before I was to walk out onstage... I was rewriting the opening scene in my dressing room.

    24 and 25. I can cook anything except rice. It never turns out for me. Ever. Gummy, sticky, gross. Fine. I never liked rice anyway.
    (Because you have never had good, well-cooked rice! I used to be a rice-hater. Then I lived in China and found out what rice is supposed to taste like.)

    66. I have a memory that most people find astonishing. My memory of events and conversations - from years or even decades back -is complete, clear, and accurate.
    (You are really starting to remind me of an old ex-boyfriend...are you sure you really aren't Brent?? He is the world's living American expert on Canada, too, coincidentally...)

    I could list more that I wanted to comment on, but that would make this comment as long as your entry! Anyway, I made it to the end, and it was not even close to pulling teeth.


    Ok, I've had your garlic spread, and it's been a while, but I'm still jealous of it and wish I knew how to recreate it. I totally remember vividly, salivating and asking AL what went into it, cause it was so good. Very warranted point.

    Spurious Plum

    I'm late, but I just wanna say:

    "Hooray! Nilbo's back! Ladies, hide your rolling pins!"

    Welcome back, mister sweet thing. I'll now go back to reading your itty-bitty list.


    So much material rife for the picking, so little time. That is all.


    #11 : Even-tempered my ass! You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool the one who had to duck a well-aimed shoe (unless, of course, you are counting that as one of the two times)!

    101. Nils has remarkably good aim when hurling footwear.

    And no longer, as Jim points out, smokes cigarettes with authority. Must now content himself with smoking cigarettes guiltily in the woodshed.


    in the woodshed Allie??? Oh, do tell!!
    I'd love to see the Truth About Dad's come out..
    You know, the sequel... :)

    Nils, how could you possibly throw a shoe at that lovely girl. This was never mentioned in your columns....


    I claim to hate memes, but I'm also a true hypocrite - I sometimes read them and I sometimes do them. Reading yours was a treat (because of its depth and apparent sinceretly; *apparent* because of #3).

    Do you also

    102. relate better to people older than you? and
    103. think you can do anything you set your mind to, but typically don't?

    Just wondering ...


    I did it!! TWO DAYS it took me, but I did it.

    and boy someone is just full of themselves huh? ;)

    *hug* glad to have you home.


    Hehehe OK, one by one:

    Effie: My column is called "Half-truths" in most of the papers in which it runs. Others just call it "Nils Ling" or, for all I know, "Some Crap About Some Guy's Family".

    Suburban Misfit: Your cats are pretending they love you. You know all those stories you read about people leaving their fortune to their cats? Your cats have read them, too, and those times when you can't find them at night? Evening courses in investment. For God's Sake, don't ever let on to those cats that you're broke.

    Whatthefuckopera: Win Ben Stein's Money is another where I yell at the contestants. Not at Ben, though. He's cool. Although I would personally kick his ass in trivia.

    Andrea: I'm sure I'm not Brent. I'm not the "Brent" type. "Brents" are way cooler than I'll ever be. You never see a chunky bald guy with glasses named Brent.

    Mel: I'm glad you confirmed my point about the garlic spread. It's easy to make. I will teach you this summer, assuming you come home.

    Faux Nectarine: I'm delighted to be home, and no need to hide your rolling pins if you use them for what God intended.

    Davey: Fire away, dude. But I will always have the last laugh. Because it takes me so long to get a joke.

    Allie: If I'd meant to hit you with the shoe, you would be walking around today with "EKIN" imprinted on your forehead. m As it is, your addendum to the list is correct: I have remarkably good aim, and I missed you by four feet. The story, in a nutshell: I had been up and working for 36 hours straight, this 11 year old shit was instigating a fight with her older sister, and to shut them both up I shied a tennis shoe at them from across the room, thumping the wall safely over their heads. The legend has grown now to the point where soon I will have been beating on them with size 12 workboots. And yes, that was one of the two times.

    And yes, the woodshed is attached to my office and it's where I hide to sneak the odd cigarette.

    Laura: as the mother of teenaged girls, you should know that the difference between "that lovely girl" and "that little troublemaking shit" is one spurt of estrogen at the wrong time.

    Peefer: dead on with #103, but I don't know that I relate especially well with older people, any more than people my own age. I do tend to have good relationships with older women - say, for example, Laura ...

    Kristine: So glad you could get through the list in only two days. Those remedial reading classes have done wonders for you.


    Sorry, doubling back to make sure nobody got left out: Ladybug, you should do a list. I found it interesting, just as an exercise in trying to be honest with and about myself - not something I always do.


    smart ass. i guess that is why i love you!

    Jim Fogg

    Hmmm, I escaped unscathed, possibly an over sight, more likely a brain cramp. Tends to happen to men of our advanced years......Seems that Allie is a chip off the old block it were.....You go girl......

    Bucky Four-Eyes

    Aaaaaah, Nilbo, my rolling pin buddy...
    Tom Waits? Really?
    *sits closer to Nilbo*
    Recite the entirety of "Potter's Field" in your best Waits voice and I will follow you anywhere. With a rolling pin.


    Nilbo, when are you coming to the states to hang out with us blogging wenches?


    I can do "Potter's Field" ... but ohhh, you should hear me with "Wasted and wounded ... it ain't what the moon did .. I got what I paid for now ...". I'm tellin' ya ... it'll make your thighs all sticky ...

    Torrie ... I'm touring in the States a leeetle more now than before ... but it's a process. Thanks to your Department if Immigration and Naturalization Service,,,,

    And James ... as I sit here with EA, enjoying some lobster and mussels after a golf game ... we're toasting you, buddy ...


    Great list! Sushi is really good, i swear!

    Bucky Four-Eyes make-a me look around for mah fainting couch!

    with the cheater slicks, baby moon.


    Bucky - we could tag-team him if he stays in character! Glad to see I'm not the only girl who thinks Tom Waits voice is dreamy...

    Jim Fogg

    Nils..Ow that hurt. Cheers to you and Ken as well.....Ken had to travel a long long way to get out of the rain.....I do love mussels, lobster is ok, but raw oysters on a shell with hot sauce and horseradish now that's the ticket hmmm......its 10:00 PM here so it must be yesterday there? Or is that NFLD...anyway hope you girls are still up enjoying a nice single malt or 3 or in your case a couple of rye and diet coke and can take the boy off the prairie....but blah blah blah....... Cheers...maybe you could do (Looking for) The Heart of Saturday Night........


    I could do Heart of Saturday Night ... but in Bucky's honour I'm currently growling out "Pasties and a G-String" ... and about one ryencoke away from "Ol' 55" ...


    ... and there goes the voice ... lickety splitly ... croak at ya tomorrow, kids ...

    Bucky Four-Eyes

    Nilbo, Opera gal, you ever hear the bootleg of Waits doin' "Pasties and a G-String" live where he mixes it in with the Hokey Pokey?


    Bucky Four-Eyes

    Oh, and by the way...did you realize that you're a couple of years younger than my husband, Nilbo?
    (I have AARP membership through him)


    I didn't read the other comments, but I will when I have more time. I LOVE these lists. I love people's stories, and almost any one of the items on the list could be a starting point for a story. I read them all. At many of them, I had a smartass or witty or kind or whatnot comment. But I also have ADD. So unless I read the damn thing while taking notes (which would be a tad compulsive for just blogsurfing), by the time I reached the end, I got nothin'. I was not surprised by much, if anything. Because of my ADD and sympathy with others', I do these 10 at a time. I'm only up to 20, though.


    1. I like lists.
    2.I like people that like lists.

    You are really a neat kinda person. Just the right combination of "that boy ain't right" and "got a lick of sense" that makes for a cool kinda guy.


    Perhaps a li'l more to the "That Boy Ain't Right" side of the spectrum, but yeah, I get a lot of sense licked into me ...


    Oh, I forgot before. How about sharing your garlic spread recipe?


    No but I do have TW doing a duet live with Bruce Springsteen of "Jersey Girl".


    I read the whole thing. I think I love you. =)


    #36 Pretty happy to be named Gord!


    I made it through all 100 and I must say I enjoyed it.

    I've seen your "name" on a few blogs (in comments) but never really checked you out until now.

    I'm glad I did. I will continue to do so.

    The comments to this entry are closed.