... for the past couple of months. Not too busy to post comments on other peoples' weblogs. Not too busy to read, on a daily basis, dozens of entries from people far more dedicated or industrious than I (many of whom can be found to the right under "Links" - every one a daily read); or to eagerly anticipate, then devour whole any new postings on my favourite site, TelevisionWithoutPity ; or to simply while away time investigating links suggested by other links, weblogs recommended by others, or just Googling old girlfriends' names, for God's sake.
Just too busy to post here.
I don't know why this is. You wouldn't think it's because I've tired of talking about myself. That's never been a problem for me. I'd guess that it HAS been a problem for others - me talking about myself, that is. But I never spend too much time worrying about other peoples' problems - that's one of the joys of being gloriously self-involved.
As self-involved as I am, though, I always drag my feet when it comes to posting on my weblog because it does necessarily (at least, in my mind) involve writing about "me".
(The "real me" as opposed to the slightly altered persona who bumbles through life in my columns and commentaries. That persona shares many characteristics with "the real me" but has some attributes that are magnified or distorted, either for humourous effect or to embrace traits that many men share but which I might not. For example, I love to grocery shop, but that's not the case for most men I know. So, if I do a piece about being in a grocery store, I'll cast myself in the role of the reluctant, dimwitted guy-type shopper, tapping on milk cartons to see if they're ripe. I just think that's funnier.
It also allows me to protect my guy friends who do something very testosteroni-stoopid, and might not want to be identified, but it's so dumb and illustrative of how guys do things that it fairly cries out to be written about. Voila ... all of a sudden it's me who's saying "Here, hold my beer, I wanna try something - BLAM!"
One day when my girls were much younger, we were getting ready to go out somewhere as a family, and one of them said "When we go out tonight, are you going to be Dad or are you going to be Nils Ling?" So, they get it.
I have now done two things: flogged this horse into the grave and stretched a parenthetical aside for four frigging paragraphs. We now return to my point, which is:)
I am uneasy writing about "me".
But we ought to do things that take us out of our comfort zone, which is why I started writing this blog in the first place. And hey, you clicked on it, so here we are.
If you are utterly disinterested in what's kept me busy the past couple of months, please feel free to click on some of the links to the right. The people there are far more interesting than I, and you'll save yourself some tough slogging.
Still here? Okay, then ...
Back in the spring, I looked at my summer touring schedule and realized I'd be spending most of this summer on the Island. And I had, over the winter, flirted with the idea of buying a restaurant/theatre, before abandoning it as economically suicidal. But the theatre remained on the market, and so I decided to take a gamble and lease what was once called "The Carmody Comedy Barn" in beautiful Stanley Bridge, P.E.I. It's a gorgeous, five year old performance space in the most incredibly scenic setting, and I looked on it as a place where I could perform once or twice a week, but also give some other performers a chance to do their great work and - who knows? - maybe make a buck or two.
Which was about how it went, by the way. It was a tough, tough year for tourists, and the re-named (thankfully) Barn Theatre At Stanley Bridge is plonked down right in the heart of the (no-)tourist area.
There were some great shows - Hedgerow performed there, featuring the music of my one-time creative partner and great friend Allan Rankin and the wonderful stories of Alan Buchanan; Richard Wood did an amazing show, and also teamed up with my buddy Gord Belsher and my daughter Allison for a couple of performances; Vishten blew the doors off with an incredible concert featuring Acadian music and dance; and Derek Edwards sold out not only his scheduled performance but also two added concerts.
Artistically, the season was a triumph. Financially ... meh. We did OK. I am not going to calculate my hourly wage on this one. It was worth doing because 1) it was fun; b) I got a chance to showcase some amazing artists who are also good friends; and III.) both my kids got great summer jobs out of the deal, and I got to work with them, which alone made the summer a success for me (if not for them).
Would I do it again? Maybe - in a different setting. More about that in the fullness of time ...
Because my elder daughter Erin essentially ran the Barn for me, it freed me up to do some touring. First up was a series of concerts with Jeff Matheson, Ellen MacPhee, and Allison at the Georgian Theatre Festival, where, in all modesty, I have to say we rocked. Packed houses, encores, everything you dream of when you get into performing. For me, it was a refreshing change from touring solo, which, frankly, can be boring. Especially the cast parties. It was a great group of very funny people, all working hard to pull together a show that audiences would love - and they did.
I also did a series of shows at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival. It was sort of the Canadian farewell tour for "The Truth About Daughters". After more than 450 shows - most in Canada - there's nowhere left to play. I still love doing the show, and I'll continue to perform it in the U.S. and the U.K. But - fittingly, in my home town - I think I've tucked "Daughters" in for a while, at least in this country.
While at the Fringe, I finally concluded that some people just need a dog to be happy, and my wife is among them. So when I got back, I took the girls aside and said "Let's do something nice for your Mom, and get her a dog."
No, that's a lie. What I actually said was "Your mother is driving me batshit. She needs a damn dog. Keep your eyes open for something in the line of a border collie."
The girls' eyes lit up like pinball machines. The very next day, they roared up into the driveway, dashed into the house, stopping to poke their heads into my office to say "Uh, Dad, we're just going to borrow Mom for a few minutes." Then physically wrestled my wife out to the car.
Later that day, I met Roxy 
I'd forgotten how much energy puppies have. I know where they get it, of course ... by sucking the energy from everyone around them.
Roxy is bright and dorky and cheerful and a little puppy-nippy, but we expect (hope) she'll grow out of that. She seems eager to play with the cats, who consider her to be a major imposition and want nothing at all to do with her. That, too, will sort itself out over time - no doubt in the cats' favour.
And finally (at least for this over-long post), I've spent some time taking care of me. I've lost about 60 pounds, and now look like this: 
.
which is ... well, as thin as I've been in over 30 years. I bought a shirt in a size Medium last week. And I have tons of energy, and I can chase the puppy and after 14 holes my legs and knees and wind haven't given out. And people notice, and say nice things.
So that's been my summer, and now I'll post more regularly, so neither of us has to endure one of these epic journeys again ...
Noticed. Nice things.
Posted by: Alan | September 22, 2004 at 11:39 AM
I didn't even read the post. I just scrolled down and saw the photo, and ... YOW!!! You look good enough to ... ehhh, never mind. (Hee!)
Posted by: Jodi | September 22, 2004 at 03:00 PM
Lovely. Pisses and moans about me not blogging, and when I do, she doesn't even read it. By the way, note that while some people feel the sun shines out their arse, evidently I am a bit more forward ...
Posted by: Nils | September 22, 2004 at 03:10 PM
Is this the "real me" you are writing about, or is this the "Nils"?
Posted by: Cyn | September 22, 2004 at 03:55 PM
WOW..congrats..is this a 50's thing? Sheech, man, last time I laid eyes on you I was eating grease at MacDonald's and I saw a portly guy come in wearing brown burmuda shorts, sandals with black socks, a CBC T-shirt and a pith helmet. (That was a long time ago :0))
Posted by: Craig | September 22, 2004 at 07:49 PM
I think Coca Cola came out with its low-carb "C2" just to woo you back - clearly their strategy didn't work...
Posted by: Davey | September 22, 2004 at 08:06 PM
I was fooled by the "New Coke" ... and The Who had it right ... won't be fooled again ...
And Bub, I don't know whether it's a mid-life crisis or what, and ya know, I'm not gonna worry too much about it if it is. This is cheaper than a red Porsche.
My brother got diagnosed with adult onset (Thype 2)diabetes (which is pretty much at epidemic levels, thanks to a generation of fast-food junkies) and I looked at my lifestyle and eating habits and thought "There's me in five years." So, being too lazy to deal with diabetes, I decided to follow the line of least resistance.
Posted by: Nils | September 22, 2004 at 08:47 PM
Most importantly, has it helped your golf game? Welcome back!
Posted by: Wayne | September 29, 2004 at 11:12 AM
Dunno that it has "helped" my golf game. But it HAS changed it. When you lose a ton of weight, the plane of your swing changes, and there's an adjustment to be made - one which I've had some trouble incorporating.
On the plus side (after 14 holes of not carrying around the equivalent of two sets of clubs tied around my gut), I still have a spring in my step and drive in my legs, which helps. All in all, I would expect my golf game to improve - over time.
Posted by: Nils | September 29, 2004 at 11:17 AM
Probably made your swing plane more upright, and steepened your angle of attack. All would change your ideal posture. VJ does a great drill to groove the feel of swinging "down the line". Uses a couple of old shafts and a water bottle. I tried it, and for one thing, it ends all "idle thought" time on the range....which is a good thing. Who can argue with VJ's results?
Posted by: Wayne | September 29, 2004 at 11:46 AM
FYI Nils,
Wayne, as in my Wayne, has already lost 11 pounds on the SBD. He's just starting his second week. I think you have insprired him. Thanks. He feels better already.
Posted by: Cyn | October 09, 2004 at 10:50 PM
Cyn, I couldn't be more thrilled that my good experience with this diet has spurred Wayne on. No need to thank me at all - he's the one making it happen.
The second week is tough, not because the diet changes but precisely because it doesn't. It gets utterly boring. But encourage him to continue to tough it through ("Only three days to go ... only two days ...")and to stay off the scales till the very end for the big reveal. It's such a thrill to watch the numbers on the scale roll around and settle at a weight that makes you go "No way ... that can't be right!"
He's having success because he's committed to it and - I'm sure of this - he's got someone in his corner encouraging him on a daily basis. And for that - on behalf of all his friends - thank YOU.
Although your real thanks comes later, when you get to boink a whole new guy without all the inconvenience of going out and having an affair ...
Posted by: Nils | October 10, 2004 at 09:42 AM
So, I have to break up with my boyfriend then?
Posted by: Cyn | October 10, 2004 at 03:15 PM
No, darlin' ... we're still good ...
Posted by: Nils | October 10, 2004 at 07:36 PM