Umm ... OK ... And The Key Is Under The Welcome Mat

Got an e-mail today from ZygLundy@onlinebuildings.com, who is evidently the person in charge of "verifiaction" for Citibank. I say that because the subject was: CITI E_MAIL Verifiaction

Now, I'm not a customer of Citibank, but damn, I wish I was. They seem very keen to verifiiy things; last week it was my Name, Address, and Credit Card number, before that it was my credit card number and birthday.

I think Mr. ZygLundy has been studying English in Nigeria with those people who always so nicely offer me 30% of 70 million dollars they've looted from their National Treasury. The body of the e-mail read:

To_verificaation of your [email] adderss click on-the link :

http://go.msn.com/HML/6/2.asp?target=%68%54%54p%3a/%2Fpvbmm5a9h.d%41%2e%72u%2F%3F10tckolfGf4rRMHIHECpW9uq0l96u586h

and_submit in_the little winndow _your_ C I T I _A t m card nummber and 'PIN'
that _you use in_the Atm...

qrm7QRJ1Se 76l2t4r4 5o9m7t9k5c99 8xwd3 rcn 91s9p5d2v8t ncb717j

(Is that last line his full name and ZygLundy was just something given to him by impatient immigration officials?)

Well, sorry that I'm not a Citibank customer, Zyg old bean. But I'm sure you'll get along. No doubt many folks will be keen to veriffiy things with you.

Comments

[Alan]

Nills,

I yam your frent, AlGenx40.com - plese leeve the 20 dolar bills in the recyklin bin for verification.

AlGenx40.com,
Lagos branch

[Nils Ling]

Done and done. Send my 30% to Zyglundy.

[Nils Ling]

And doesn't this arrive seconds later. Al, I'm gonna need you to help me fight through the dense legal-ese ...

sir/ MAR,
First, I must solicit your confidence in this
transaction; this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day.

We have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction, as we have been reliably informed of your discreetness and ability in transaction of this nature by your country man who works in our embassy. [Wow - my reputation overseas is WAY better than it is in Canada]

Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am MR HENRY DAVE THE MANAGER OF FIRST BANK OF NIG PLC, Lagos. I came to know you in my
Private Search for a Reliable and Reputable Person to handle this Confidential Transaction, which involves the transfer of Huge Sum of Money to a Foreign Account with Maximum Confidence. [Maximum Confidence is my middle name]

THE PROPOSITION IS AS FOLLOWS:
A Foreigner, an American, Late GILBERT SPENCER (Snr.) an Oil Merchant with The Federal Government of Nigeria, until his death months ago in auto clash [the reknowned Fighting Autos of Nigeria - much more dangerous than the Japanese and their wussy lil kites] Banked with us , and had a closing balance as at the end of September, 2003 worth US$950.000.00 (nine hundred and fifty thousand Dollars) [or eight trillion Canadian], the bank now expects a next of kin as beneficiary [damn sticklers, those Nigerians]. And I was contacted to do so.

Valuable efforts were made by FIRST BANK OF NIG Plc to get in touch with any of the SPENCER'S Family or Relatives but to no success.

It is because of the perceived possibility of not being able to locate any of Late Engr. GILBERT SPENCER (Snr.)?s next of kin (He had no wife or children that is known to us) [the "Snr." part notwithstanding]. The Management under the influence of our Chairman and Members of the Board of Directors, made an arrangment for the fund to be declared Unclaimed and subsequently be donated to the trust fund for arms and ammunition to further enhance the
course of War in Africa and the World in General. [They have telethons and everything for this]

In order to avert this negative development, some of my trusted colleagues and I now seek your permission to have you stand as next of kin to Late Engr.GILBERT SPENCER (Snr.) so that the fund US$65 Million [ man, interest rates are high on Nigerian svaings accounts] will be
released and paid into your Account as the
beneficiary?s next of kin. All documents and proves to enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out. We have secure from the probate an order of madamus to locate any of deceased beneficiaries, and more so we are assuring you that this business is 100%
Risk Free involvement. [SOLD!]

Your share stays while the rest be for myself and my vcolleagues for investment purpose. According to agreement within both parties.
As soon as we receive an acknowledgment or receipt of this message in acceptance of our mutual business proposal, we would furnish you with the necessary modalities and disbursement ratio to suite both parties without any conflict.

If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you. {no fear - my reliability is internationally known]

Best Regards.
MR HENRY DAVE.
BANK MANAGER,

(and cc: a few hundred other names. Meaning I better act fast or I'll lose out)

So .. legit? Or .. not? He seems sincere ...

[Alan]

The unconventional use of capitalization is key as only honest third world leaders. Also, the use of "necessary modalities and a disbursement ratio to suite both parties without any conflict" indicates a true businessperson is behind this. Use Mike Currie's name in the reply, however, as this will lend more credence to your side of this transaction.

[JOHNSON WILLIAMS]

PERMIT ME TO INFORM YOU OF MY DESIRE OF GOING WEBSITE

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/

BEST REGARDS.

[Benny Zenner]

i just received a similar letter today from Dr. Fred Oldilie (Oh, do I lie?), it explained the breakdown - 70% to to him and his colleagues (why? if I am the beneficiary I would get it all); 20% to me; 10% set aside for expenses. Won't that come out of their 70%. The email came from finance@lovetrain.com and was sent to the same email address; my address was blocked out) and I was to respond to drfredbank_rupt@yahoo.com. (Dr. Fred is bankrupt?)

I had a great laugh about this one.

Benny