Above me, even as a write this, there is a party going on. I was not invited.
I have, living in the space above my office, unwanted tenants in the form of a bunch of squirrels.
(I do not know the proper collective noun for squirrels. I know that there is a murder of crows that resides in the woods nearby, and possibly a parliament of owls. I don't believe "bunch" of squirrels can be correct. "Herd"? Too weighty. "Pod"? Too marine. "Pride"? Too leonine. I am open to suggestions, but in the meantime, I'll use whatever is to hand.)
These squirrels - and I have no idea of their number - are generally quiet during the day, but in the evening, they perk right up. They scurry. They scamper. They frolic, carouse, skitter, skritch, and skreek above my head. Last night, it sounded as if they had invented a new game which entailed rolling some form of nut along the beams, then racing after it and fighting for possession. Then arguing the call.
Loudly. These are not your light-footed, prancy, girlie type of squirrel. They are more your Northern Clubfoot Squirrel. If I'm reading the sounds correctly, at least one of them is wearing cleats.
I live in the country, so I've grown used to sharing my space with a variety of creatures. Some have come and gone - others have moved right in. "Live and let live," says I, although I draw the line at rats.
Squirrels are rats on the Ritz ... they've parlayed a bushy tail and friendly chirp into a generalized immunity. "You can't kill squirrels ... they're so cute!"
Well, maybe. But Chip 'n Dale (I know, they were chipmunks, but still) are on notice: one more game of Roller-nut, and you're gone.
My dog Mildred is an ace squirrel hunter - any chance of a visit?
Posted by: robert paterson | November 17, 2003 at 08:36 PM
I don't need the damn things hunted - I know where they are. Now, can Mildred fit into the teensy space between my ceiling and the office roof and root the lil bastards out from under Fibreglas Pink?? If so, bring her on down!
Posted by: Nils Ling | November 17, 2003 at 08:56 PM
A group of squirrels is called a dray or a scurry.
Jeeves knows everything!
Posted by: Frankie | November 18, 2003 at 04:19 PM
No but she can scare them out - she seems to have this knack of getting them to fall out of trees - so why not your attic?
Posted by: robert paterson | November 18, 2003 at 04:51 PM
Do you have any idea where they are getting in? Maybe you could run a trail of nuts from the opening to say...a hungry bear, or something similar?
Posted by: Charlie | November 18, 2003 at 06:45 PM