Justin Alfred Leonard Ling, May 2, 1923 - July 21, 2008

Justin Alfred Leonard Ling. age 85, won’t be shopping at Eaton’s tomorrow.

    As long as any of us can remember, that was Mom’s sly and gentle euphemism for the final curtain in life, and it seems fitting that we announce Dad’s passing that way.  He’d appreciate the opportunity to make us smile one more time through our tears.

    Justin was born May 2, 1923, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.   A skilled pilot, he was selected by the R.C.A.F. to train airmen during the war, both in Canada and in England.

    Before he went overseas, he and his pals attended a Saturday night dance near their training base in Edmonton.  It was a fateful evening.  He met a girl - Mary Lou Hutton - and walked her home.  The next day he joined her and her family for Sunday dinner before boarding the train for Montreal and the boat that would take him overseas.

    For two years, he had no contact whatsoever with Mary.  On returning to Canada, he boarded a train bound for Edmonton, where he hunted down the girl he’d met, found her, and proposed marriage.  They had known each other less than eight hours.

    In October of last year, Mary and Justin celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary.

    While Dad’s accomplishments stand on their own - a 25 year career as a fighter pilot trainer with the Canadian Armed Forces, followed by a second career as owner of a successful small real estate company, Ling Realty - it is impossible to talk about Justin Ling without in the same breath talking about his life-long friend, partner, and wife, Mary.  The two were quite literally inseparable - golfing together, curling together, raising a family, running a business, bickering, laughing, mercilessly teasing one another, travelling side-by-side through a rich and textured life; two halves of a beautiful whole.

    When Mom began sinking into the insidious mire that is Alzheimer’s, Dad never wavered.  He patiently cared for her - making her meals, sitting with her, still teasing her, but more often gently guiding her through what must sometimes have been excruciating conversations as her memories began to falter and fade.  Through it all, he shrugged off his own battles with lung cancer and age.

    When Mom’s care became too much for one person, the family found her a place in the Betel Home in Gimli, where she lives today.  His job done, Dad’s illnesses took over.  His final battle with cancer was mercifully short.

    Justin Ling was - and he would tell you this - a wonderfully imperfect man.  He smoked, he drank, he swore.  But he was generous, playful, funny, strong, and an irrepressible tease.  He taught six children about the value of family and the power of  fierce and devoted love, lessons we still hold dear and try our best to practice in our lives.

    Justin is survived by his wife, Mary, and five children: Denise Wheeler (Robert), Kathryn Naud (Claude), Barbara Kelman (Craig), Nils (Joyce), and Andrea Campbell (Peter).   Our brother Justin (Margaret) was taken from us earlier this year.  Justin’s sister Barbara Fowler and his brother Nils F. Ling both live in BC and share our loss.

    We are grateful for our time with Dad, and for the time he spent delightedly teasing every one of his many grandchildren, all of whom adored him and who share in his legacy of love.

    For a tribute to Justin and Mary, including the inspiring story of their love, please visit http://truthsandhalftruths.typepad.com/family.  It's in development now but should be in good shape in a day or so ...

My deepest thanks to all of you who have expressed your condolences.  This has been a tough time, and your good wishes boost me more than you can know.

Comments

[Susie]

Just here, boosting.
I was thinking of you this morning, and of Owen, and what a wonderful gift the brand-new people in our families are, always, but especially at times like this.

[Mainline Mom]

Hey Nils, again I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, but what a beautiful obit. Sounds like a great guy. I lost my dad almost a decade ago now and I still miss him.

[squirl]

That was wonderful. Sounds like your father was just waiting for your mom to be someplace safe before he left. Thinking of you all.

[Sharkey]

This is a beautiful tribute to your dad (and your mom). Thanks for sharing a bit of him with us. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Kris T]

What a wonderful reflection of your dad and his life. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Platypus]

That was a beautiful tribute to your father. He would be very proud of you, I'm sure. Love from both of us.

[Bucky Four-Eyes]

Raising a glass here in honor of wonderful imperfection.

[Kelly]

He sounds like an incredible person. I am so sorry for your loss.

[The Kept Woman]

Oh shitty, shitty cancer.

I was, as you know, just here last August with Sugar Daddy's cousin. Lung cancer is a horrible, horrible way to go.

I wish you and your family the best as you go through this difficult time. He sounds like an amazing man and you can count yourself as one lucky duck to have had a dad like that.

[Lyn]

I'm sorry for your family's loss. This is the one stage of life that just stinks. Thankfully you have a wonderful history, your parents shared their stories with you and your siblings, which you have recorded so beautifully, and left a rich and loving memory behind. Enjoy that, Nils. :')

[shari]

Life is strange, it runs its course and drags us along, and loss is part of it as surely as birth. It's funny, because I would have thought this would bring me tears. It didn't. Instead, it makes me smile. Thank you.

Like Bucky, I raise my glass in honor of wonderful imperfection, and gratefully acknowledge that people don't have to be perfect to be just what we need.

Here's to Dad -- both yours and my own.

[Sandy]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. I remember the first time I read about your parent's love story, and I remember thinking how amazing it was. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Robert Paterson]

Oh Nils......
Rob

[William]

There are times in the near future that you will say or do something that you will think, "I sound like my dad" or "thats something dad would have done."

And in those monents it will sting for a second, but then it will make you feel warm and happy to remember him. It's kind of like drinking Ouzo or bad whiskey.

I am sorry for you loss.

[CircusKelli]

That's truly lovely, Nils.

Your Dad will continue to live on in the stories you've written and told all of us.

Hugs.

[Breeda]

I am very sorry for your loss but what a beautiful testimony of your parents' lives
B

[kalki]

Here's to your dad, who lived and loved well.

[kalki]

Here's to your dad, who lived and loved well.

[Lori]

My deepest sympathy, Nils, in the loss of someone so very special. The first time I heard mention of your father was at the Jubilee Theatre. My husband and I still squeeze hands three times in our own variation of "I love you". Thank you for allowing others to know him, in all his imperfect glory, in some small way.
Lori

[Rubberband]

I'm sorry, Nils.

You honor him with your beautiful words.

[Deneen]

I am so sorry.

[MrsDoF]

My condolences for your loss.

[twisteduterus]

Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

[apathy lounge]

Oh, Nils. I've been away and haven't been by to check on you. And when I do I find this. Peace to you and the rest of your family. You make me laugh...even when you're bringing a tear to my eye.

[Katie]

The story you wrote about your parents was the first thing I read when I came to your site. It is a beautiful story about two awesome people.
And I've kept coming back. Your family reminds me a bit of my own family and I love reading your site.

It's hard to find the right words to write here - although I've never met you or your family, your father's passing brought tears to my eyes. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.