A Sign The Apocalypse Is Nigh

An Ode To Modesty (!)

Talking of successful rackets,
Modesty deserves a mention:
Exclamation marks in brackets
Never fail to draw attention.

- Piet Hein

This post may or may not start out funny, and may or may not end up funny. Or we may slide into pathetic.   I'm not sure yet.  You're welcome to come along and find out at the same time I do.

When I was first notified, I was sure it was a joke.  Now I see that - tragically, perhaps, or maybe comically - it was not: 

I have been nominated for a Best of Blogger Award.  (Oh, it gets better - clean the coffee off your keyboard and continue.).

I was nominated by my friend Effie.  Now, Effie is a sweetie, and I can't say enough good about her.  She has a lovely blog and many talented people come by and write poetry which she shares with everyone - not many blogs tend to focus on poetry.  I love to drop by Effie's blog - it always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

But as much as I admire Effie's taste in poetry, I do have to question her judgement.  And possibly her sanity.

The award she nominated me for?  Sexiest Male Blogger. 

Oh, yes, you did read that right. 

Now, granted, Effie did nominate me as a sort of afterthought in a long list of men she considers sexy, and did qualify it admirably by saying " ...he's great on the more mature level ...".  But still, she nominated me. 

Oh, Effie, Effie, Effie.  Can open, worms everywhere.

Go visit the site and vote.  It's fun.  I voted for a guy I admire whose path I cross from time to time, Ol' Hoss.  I think he's sexy, in a totally hetero, haven't-even-seen-Brokeback-Mountain (although I hear it's quite good and don't have an actual aversion to seeing it, just don't get out much) kinda way.  I also think Hoss has very good taste in reading, which has to count for something.

Because the voting is broken up into heats (insert your own damn joke here), I didn't have to stop with Hoss.  I was able to vote for Greenie, whom I also admire, who is also very sexy, was also nominated by Effie, probably has seen Brokeback Mountain several times (perhaps even re-enacted a scene or two from it) ... and is the runaway leader in the section of the poll in which both our names appear.

That is right, folks.  That is exactly how sexy I am.  I am so sexy that many women are choosing to vote for a gay man over me in a contest for sexiest male.  In other words, as my daughter pointed out while laughing derisively, women find me not nearly quite as sexy as a guy who, given a choice between sleeping with them or sleeping with some of the other contestants, would be much more likely to choose the other contestants . 

Think about that.  These women are saying "Even though this man is and will forever be totally unavailable to me as anything more than a treasured, platonic friend, I still find him far more sexually attractive than ... Nils." 

All this is just ... disconcerting in a way I'm not even sure I understand.  I'm not saying I disagree with these women - not at all.  And I'm certainly not saying Greenie is not sexy.  Hey, I voted for him.

I'm just saying the whole situation certainly would give one pause, if one were, say, me.

But hey ...  thanks, Effie.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Maybe I'll do both.

Comments

[Jim Fogg]

I think if she would have added, at one time smoked with authority, it may have clinched it....because as we all know smokers are tre's sexy.....

[Closet Metro]

I figure it's Greenie's "forbidden fruit" (pun not intended, but laugh or groan at your discretion) that helps to put him over the top. Not that he's not a good looking guy. Hell, I voted for him too.

[Nils]

The bastard. All the women vote for him AND all the men vote for him. If he wasn't such a damn nice guy, he'd be easy to hate.

[marybishop]

I'm voting for you Nilbo! After all, the sexiest part of a man is his brain...and a good brain not only turns on a woman, it turns on Willie the one-eyed wiggly worm!

Sheer kismet!

[amy]

I am so totally off to vote for you right NOW.

[greenie]

Well, if nothing else, the sympathy vote DOES count for something. LOL!!!

Well done sir. You are, as always, well spoken.

If it's any conciliation to you, the hetero-men at my work place feel the same way. Many of my female workers hug and kiss on me daily and it drives them crazy. When ever they say anything, I just open my arms...you know what, they accept. LOL!!! I'm universal, fair and easy. Not Cheap!

[wordgirl]

Ya got my vote!

[Hanni]

Hey I'm here b/c on amanda b's site you wrote "I wouldn’t suggest you smack the ass of anyone who has crapped in their pants. Don’t ask me how I know this is a bad idea."

From that moment I knew - it was neccesary, nay *essential* I stop by this evil genius's blog.

You are too good sir!

[Squirl]

I voted for you. Granted, Greenie's a great guy, but I just had to vote for you.

[Susie]

You're HOT. Any man who can so skillfully combine pathetic and funny is my kinda guy :)

[Torrie]

I voted for you. :)

[Jim Fogg]

I just saw BrokeBack Mountain and felt compelled to vote for you as well........

[Effie]

OK.
Yes.
I nominated you.
Because. Well. *blushing* I think you're hot.
And yes.
I nominated Greenie too.
I'm out of his league.
I'm out of your province.
I felt it was safe to do so and let you both know that you're not too hard on the eyes, if you catch my drift.
I didn't know that they would let you know WHO was nominating you.
*slinking away now, ever so embarrassed--so much so I don't think I spelled/spelt that correctly*

[kalki]

A man who has a way with words can always have his way with women. There's nothing sexier.